No Reason
by KismetDoll
Summary: [AkuRoku] Switching schools in the middle of the year is hard. It's even harder when you fall for the weirdest kid in school. Throw in the miniscule fact that so called kid is a guy and the word 'outcast' takes on a whole new meaning. [AU]
1. When it rains it pours

Title: No Reason  
Series: Kingdom Hearts II  
Author: ConfessYourSins  
Rating: PG-13  
Main Characters: Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and Marluxia  
Warnings: Language, boy-love  
Pairings: AkuRoku  
Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts II or the characters in it.

**No Reason**

**

* * *

Chapter One  
_When it rains it pours

* * *

_**

I hate switching schools. Every couple months, new town, new school. But mom and dad said this would be the last time to switch. This is supposed to be our new home, until I finish high school.

So far…

I don't like my new home.

It's called Radiant Garden, and it's a creepy decrepit city that they're trying to rebuild. It used to be called Hollow Bastion but I guess that was too depressing or something. Either way, it's still crappy. But the school here's supposed to be great, once you get past the gangs and stuff.

Yeah. Great place to spend the rest of high school.

I'm in the tenth grade right now, but I should be in the ninth. They moved me up and that's what gave mom'n dad the great idea to move here and let me attend one of the best schools around. What a stupid idea.

I'm used to not having friends, and moving… What I'm _not _used to is attending an all-boy school. There are two schools in Radiant Garden, one for the boys… and one for the girls.

I hate my life.

So here I am, on my first day of school, in the middle of the year. It's hard enough to get around when everyone else is starting off new… it's worse when _you're _the only one. It's supposed to be a very creative kind of school, real new-age crap that my mom's always reading about.

At least there isn't a dress code.

I'm simple, at best. Khaki pants or shorts, and graphic tees. They all fit well, since mom hates baggy clothes, and of course my skate shoes. I love to skateboard. It's pretty much the one thing I _do _like that doesn't require money. Radiant Garden is good for that, at least. There are a lot of cool places, from what I've noticed, to skate.

I sign in at the front office and get my schedule, then sit down. They said someone's gonna come show me around…

"Hey Aerith!" someone shouts as he throws the door open to the office. I wince. He's so _loud. _"What's up?"

The receptionist smiles at the guy and replies, "Indoor voice, Axel. The new student's waiting for you. You're late."

The guy turns around and I wrinkle my nose. What a weirdo. He has fire red hair that falls in long spikes down his back, and super pale skin. Under each of his eyes is a triangle-ish tattoo and his eyes are done heavily with eyeliner. But I like his eyes. They're green, my favorite color.

His clothes are funny though. Not bad funny, just… different. I don't think I've ever seen anyone dress like him in real life. His black shirt is tight – too tight – and makes it obvious that this guy must not ever eat. He's so _skinny_ and he's got a tiny little waist but huge hips. His shirt doesn't quite cover his torso so there's a gap between there and his jeans. The denim jeans are okay, but really old since they're covered in holes and you can see his boxers through them. Black boxers.

I look up at him but don't smile. "Hey there," he says, extending a hand. "I'm Axel."

I stand up and nod. "I'm Roxas. Got it memorized?" I joke, laughing a little in my head. What a good line!

"Yeah… yeah," he says with a grin. "I like that."

"Uh, you can have it. I don't think I'll need it," I mumble sarcastically.

"What? Great! So… let's get you to your first class," he says as he grabs a piece of paper off the receptionists desk. Mom told me that everyone goes by first names, no last names, which is really weird to me.

He grabs a hold of my backpack and drags me down the hall for a minute then throws me into a bathroom and locks the door behind himself. I give him a crazed look before I see what he's doing.

"Is that… _alcohol?"_ I ask in shock.

He grins. It's a toothy, dangerous, _sharp _looking smile but… I can't really look away. His face is really angular and defined; I'm sure he photographs well. That's my other hobby, other than skateboarding, is photography. But it costs more money and I don't always have that much since my parents like to skimp on the allowance bit.

"Yep. Want some? Nothin' like a little coke'n rum before class…" He takes a swig of the bottle and holds it out to me. "No?" He shrugs and drinks some more.

"I know this school's supposed to be lax, but that's pushing it," I point out with a scowl. "I don't want to get in trouble because you're an idiot."

That caught his attention. He puts the bottle down on the edge of the sink and stalks toward me like I'm a piece of meat. I find myself pressed agains the back wall of the bathroom, the window right above my head. He puts one hand to either side of me and leans in, a small smirk on his lips.

Oh crap.

Please do not eat me.

"You're… kinda cute," he says before laughing and turning away. "Yeah," he mumbles.

"Huh?"

"Nothin'."

Did he just say… that I'm cute? That's weird, right? I mean… I'm pretty sure that's kinda weird. If no one else thinks so, I do. I think it's _weird._

Axel yawns and stretches up, his shirt riding up more than it needs to. I can't help but stare; he's so skinny but curvy. I cock my head to the side and see that his bellybutton's pierced with some dangly red and black thingy. He's so _pale _all over…

"Ya done checkin' me out?" he asks as he lowers his arms.

"What? I'm not checking you out!"

He shrugs. He's so annoying. "Oh. Okay. Well in that case, I won't do it again."

…

I'm gonna leave that one alone. "I need to get to class," I point out to him.

He smirks at me and runs his hand over his stomach, then lifts his shirt up a little bit and rubs some more. He _really _likes to touch himself. I'm trying not to stare. It's rude to stare. And he's weird.

_So _weird.

"Okay, whatever you say blondie."

"I'm not _blond."_

That seems to amuse him. He walks over and ruffles my hair and I swat him away as quickly as possible. "Okay, fine. You're a _dirty _blond, right?"

"Yeah," I mumble as I fold my arms over my chest. "Just take me to my class, okay?"

"We have the same class. Chill. No one's gonna miss us. They're just outside looking at plants or bugs or something."

"Biology?"

"Uh, something like that. I dunno."

"If this school is for smart kids, why the hell are _you _here?" I snap, angry at him for being so… so… Ugh, I don't even know. For being _him._

That annoys him. "Just because my IQ isn't ten billion and one, short stuff, doesn't mean that I'm not _smart. _Everyone has their own thing. Mine's not science. So back the fuck off."

He storms out of the bathroom and I stare at the bottle on the counter. He's not gonna forget that. It's almost full. He'll probably need it for the rest of the day. So let's see…

3…

2…

1…

"Goddamnit, I always _do _that!" he shouts as he throws the door open, grabs his bottle, sticks it in his messenger bag and walks back out. I follow, hoping he's going to class.

He does, luckily, and turns out the class really _is _outside. He walks up to the teacher, a very tall and stoic looking man. His hair is blond and very spikey, pointing in every direction. His eyes are a crazy kinda blue, the kind that could glow in the dark and I find myself shying away from him.

He's scary.

"Hey Cloud. This is the new kid… uh…" Axel turns back to me and shrugs. "I forgot your name. Sorry."

"Roxas."

"Yeah, this is Roxas."

Cloud nods. "Well, since you didn't even show up for the first half of class, Axel, you can just be partnered with him. Go find a butterfly or something."

"Seriously?" Axel says excitedly.

"No. Do the assignment." He hands Axel two packets and waves him off. "Hurry up."

Axel sighs and walks over to a big oak tree. "Damn," he curses as he sits down. I sit down across from him and cross my legs. He throws the packets on the ground and I pick one up, glancing over it.

"This is easy," I say as I start scribbling in answers. Axel watches me, I can _feel _him doing it, and in a few minutes I'm done. "There."

"… Are you kidding me?"

"No. Why?"

"You're… done?"

I nod. "That's what I said, isn't it?"

He grabs my papers away from me after leaning forward and I got a whiff of his cologne. Whatever it is, I liked it. Soothing but spicy, and sexy.

… Well, considering it's on _him. _And _he _is a _guy._

"Wow… you really are done. Mind if I copy it?"

"Yeah!" I shout as I steal the paper back. "Do your _own _work!"

Axel's face falls. "I'm… really, _really _bad at this class, actually."

I won't help him. He's stupid. And I don't like him.

He looks up at me and gives me a little smile. "Well, since you're done you can go meet the other kids. I'm gonna get this done before Cloud kicks my ass."

Fine. I will.

The rest of the day goes off without a hitch. I don't pay any attention to Axel for the rest of the day since he's so weird. He's in a few of my classes, including my last one, but I sit far away from him. He creeps me out.

His friends are weird too. Well, the two that I saw. One kid has hair the same color as mine, but he has a weird mullet-thing going on. The other one has pink hair – yes, _pink ­_– that's all layered and floofy. Weird!

His two friends eyeball me from the steps as I leave the school. Then I notice that they've all got these weird wrist bands that they wear. Axel's must've been under his shirt or something, that's why I didn't see it. Maybe it's a club?

The walk home is short and I'm glad because it looks like it's going to rain. Oh well. It's not like there's anything to do here, since I don't know anyone and I don't particularly care to. I'm mostly a loner, I guess. People just let you down and it's not like they really care, anyway.

So it's back to another night of bad sit-coms and reruns… Oh wait, it's the weekend.

So…

It's back to another _weekend _of bad sit-coms and reruns.

I'm _so _happy. Ugh.

… I'm so hungry.

Mom and dad are stuck in Twilight Town thanks to some stupid issue with the paperwork on their deal, so it's just me for the weekend. Mom said something about money in the freezer… I think.

I check and sure enough there's one hundred munny. Sweet. Time to get some food. Except for the fact that I don't know the area. Oh wait, there was that place on the way home from school that looked like a strip of food places. I'm sure one of them's still open. It _is _a weekend.

Thunder rumbles. Crap. It's probably raining.

I grab a jacket and umbrella and stick some of the munny in my pocket. Okay, I'm set. It's only nine something so I'm sure I can find something good. Maybe a burger and some ice cream for later. That sounds nice.

Some random theme plays in my head as I make my way down the street. I wish I could skateboard, but with all this rain, it's a little impossible. Oh well. Hey! My face lights up as burgers dance in my head. So there _is _a God…

I head inside and order a cheeseburger to go. I notice a few kids from school and a few girls sitting with them. I pay quickly and leave, realizing that they were the guys with Axel. I look back one last time and I notice that they seem kinda worried. I wonder why?

The streets are flooded and it's hard to walk without getting completely soaked. Well, I'm soaked to begin with so it's more about protecting my precious cheeseburger. And fries. They give you free fries with a meal, which is awesome. I cross the street early to avoid the big ocean of water in front of my house.

Then I see it.

At first I think I'm imagining it, but as I walk closer, I know I'm not. There's someone laying on the ground in the rain. Now, it could be just any regular bum or drunk or something except for one small detail: the hair. Fire red hair.

Axel?

I walk over and set my bag of food safely in a hole in the wall. Sweet. I roll him over and lift his head up. His eyes are closed and his face is covered in blood and bruises and… other stuff. I don't really know. It's dark and hard to see.

"Axel?" I whisper. His eyes twitch, but don't open. "Hey, Axel!"

They open this time, emerald green eyes focusing on me. He stares, then smirks. "Holy shit, kiddo. Is it time for class already?"

I notice the big bump on his head. "Do you have a concussion?" It's a stupid question, because he obviously does.

"What? Where am I? Why is it raining in the classroom?" He tries to sit up but that results in a massive coughing attack and a little more blood, this time from his mouth. "Eww…" he groans.

I don't know what to do. The burger place is too far back there to carry him. Why couldn't someone else have found him? Shit, I just wanted some _food. _I curse the sky and shake my head, but when I look back down at him…

… he looks so lost.

"Hi there," he says with a bloody smile. His eyes start to roll back in his head but I shake him. Hard. Probably not the best thing to do to someone with a concussion, but better than letting him pass out. He starts shaking and I wonder how long he's been laying out in the rain. He's still in the same clothes from school, so it could be hours that he's been out here…

Poor guy.

"I'm tired," he whines softly as he presses his head against my chest. "Can I go to sleep?"

"What? Oh… um, c'mon. Let's get you up. You can come to my house." It's not like my parents will be there until Monday night at the earliest. They're always busy with work, and they work together and I'm an only child so… it pretty much sucks. At least they're not overly lovey dovey though. And they trust me, which is a plus.

I still wish I had an allowance, though.

That's besides the point. I hand Axel my bag of food and tell him to guard it with his life, which he nods at, then put my arm around him and come to the sudden realization that he's over a head taller than me. Shit. Well, no time to think about that. I just need to get him to my house and I can figure it out from there.

The walk isn't as long as I thought it would be and we're at my house in minutes. I unlock the front door and help Axel in, propping him against the wall as I kick my shoes off and lock the door back up. When I turn around he's falling and I barely manage to grab him before he knocks his head on the banister.

"Shit!" I curse as he grabs onto me and nearly pulls me down with him. He wince as we hit the floor but not because we fall; he's just heavier than me. At least we go down slow and controlled. "Are you okay?" I ask him.

He barely manages a nod. "Uh, yeah. Where _am _I?"

"Uh, my house."

"Who're you?"

"Roxas. I'm new at your school." I pause, then add, "What _happened _to you, anyway?"

He seems confused. I'm not surprised. "I… don't remember."

"Well that doesn't really matter. We've gotta get you out of these wet clothes and into something dry, then I've got to make sure you don't need to go to the hospital." He looks like he's been beaten up, but so far I haven't noticed anything hospital worthy. As long as nothing looks seriously injured, he should be okay with a little bit of TLC.

Not by me, necessarily.

"O-_kay," _he says in a whiny voice before pulling his shirt off half retardedly. I try not to stare, but I know my cheeks are flushed. I don't know _why_ but they are and I'm not really in the mood to deal with something along the lines of retarded and blind hormones.

Axel smacks my cheek lightly and laughs. "What? I'm really _that _hot, even now?"

"No." I take his shirt and set it by the front door. I don't want it dripping all over the house. "Can you get up? I wanna get you into the bathroom so you can get your clothes off."

Axel nods and I help him up, slowly and cautiously making our way to the bathroom. He sits down on the toilet seat while I grab his shirt from the foyer and throw it into the bathtub. It can dry out in there for all I care.

"Thanks," he mumbles as I pull off his shoes and throw those in the bathtub too. Same with his socks and belt, and now it's his pants.

"Can you uh, do it yourself?" I ask him nervously. He looks up at me, still dazed, and stands up with help from the shower rod. Not a good idea, moron! I throw my arms around his waist to hold him up before the shower rod gives way. But it doesn't and now I look like an idiot…

"Uh, can I help you?" he asks as he looks down at me while I meekly look up.

"I thought the bar was gonna come dow—" and then it does and Axel's eyes fall on the bar in his hands. "Huh. Well that was a little delayed."

He starts laughing. Like, _really _laughing. "Oh, shit… man, that's fucking _hilarious," _he chokes out.

I sigh and somehow his pants come off without any other incidents. I put a towel on his head then go off to find some clothes of mine that just _might _fit him. Both my parents are short so it's not like my dad's clothes'll fit. I finally manage to find some sweats that'll probably work and a plain tee that looks like it might just cover half of his body. Maybe.

As I run down the stairs I hear a crash and a moan. Oh shit! I run into the bathroom where Axel's collapsed on the floor, clutching his side. "What's wrong?" I ask as I kneel in front of him.

"It… hurts," he mumbles. I move his hand away and it looks like a bruise is forming. It looks nasty too, like someone hit him with a night stick or something long and round like that.

"It's just a bruise," I say as I help him sit up. "Here, I got you some clothes."

Axel pulls on the shirt, which barely reaches past his midsection, then stares at the pants. "These are wet," he says as he snaps the elastic on his boxers.

"Then take them off. Just let me turn around. You can uh… hold my shoulder, for balance," I offer as we get up. He nods and smiles. I turn around and he grips my shoulder like it'll be the end of the world if he doesn't. He manages to get the sweats on and they actually fit, which is a surprise.

So…

Here we are… with this awkward silence. Axel grins loopily at me. He's so _out of it._ "I'm tired. Can I sleep now?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah." And then I remember that the guest room is under construction since my parents wanted to add a bathroom to it and it's either their room or mine. I'm not about to put the weirdo in _their _room, since that seems a little wrong, so I guess it's mine.

I sigh and nod. "Yeah, c'mon."

I grab some tissues and wipe the blood off Axel's face, which luckily isn't bleeding anymore, then help him up the stairs. He stumbles a few times but I catch him and we make it to my room safely. He sits down on the bed and immediately lies down with a grin on his face.

"Your bed's soft. And it smells nice."

"Uh huh. Goodnight."

And I turn out the lights.

* * *

A.N.: Okay, my first story from Roxas's POV. Ya like? R&R, lemme know what you think. I worked hard on it and actually... I've written quite a bit O.o;; So... reviews make me happy and edit faster to post faster!! Hooray for AkuRoku!! 


	2. Axel's hips don't lie

A.N.: This chapter is dedicated to all those who reviewed the first chapter and put me on their alerts list!! That would be these wonderful people... **TheOptimisticPessimist, KitKatBoo, Beutelmaus, It's Beyond Over, Mamotte Ageru, Gray-Rain Skies, Terranei Parker, LittlePastry, Shiruy, Onemoreparadise, Maur, pyrokinetic Axel, Xita14, Roxas Shoizu, Kerrilea,** and **DarkZizanie.**

**Special thanks to Beutelmaus, It's Beyond Over, Mamotte Ageru, Gray-Rain Skies, Terranei Parker, and LittlePastry for reviewing my other stories!!**

To those who haven't reviewed and are on the alerts list... please review!! I'd love to know what you think XD

Special thanks to 1/2 of Hanitachan and to Beutelmaus for being my wonderful betas and putting up with me. Thank God; I have no idea what I would do without 'em!

**And yes, this chapter _is _named after that particularly wonderful video on YouTube. I love that video, and _no, _Axel's hips _don't _lie. Thanks to whoever created the original video; unfortunately, I do not know who that is o.O;;**

...By the way, I do these at the beginning of the story now because I'm hoping you people will actually read the author's notes XD...

**No Reason**

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**Chapter Two  
_Axel's hips don't lie_**

* * *

I wake up to a loud thud coming from upstairs. I guess I fell asleep on the couch. I run up the stairs and suddenly the night is coming back to me. Axel's in my room, in my bed… Oh, that just won't bode well at all. 

I open the door and Axel's sitting up in my bed, hair ridiculous and scary, with wide eyes. "What the _fuck?" _he spits out. He tries to stand up but falls to his knees, clutching his side. I can see the bruise since the shirt isn't long enough to cover it and it looks worse, but nothing deadly.

"What _happened?" _he whines loudly.

"I don't know. You tell me," I say. "I found you in an alley near the burger place. I thought you might fill me in this morning."

"Burger place…? Oh Jesus…" he groans and trails off. "Fucking assholes. I'm going to kill them for this… as soon as I feel better, that is."

"Kill who?"

He looks up at me and smirks. "There's a group of kids who wear all black that call themselves the Organization. Mostly, they're just a gang of assholes that go around mugging kids and shit like that. They're mostly just drop-outs and homeless kids, but a few of them go to our school."

"So they beat you up?"

"Yeah, I beat up one of them last week… At least I didn't have any money on me. Probably why they beat the crap outta me so much. Shit."

It's not a very convincing story, in my opinion. Sounds like he's leaving something out, and a lie is still a lie, even if it's only by omission. But before I can say anything about it he groans loudly and I wince. That doesn't sound good.

"You… okay?" I ask worriedly. He doesn't look so good. Really pale and shit. Plus, his face is really worse for wear. Poor guy.

Not that I care.

"Me? I'm a little hungry and I've definitely felt… and _looked_ better…" He grins as he stands up and I offer my hand. He looks at it for a second, then takes it. "You're being awfully nice to me considering you ignored me all day yesterday."

"I still think you're weird. And I don't like you. But you needed help."

"Oh, okay. As long as we're clear then."

I arch a brow. "Clear?"

"That I don't like you either."

"Oh. Yeah."

Axel laughs. "Lead the way to food, dear heart."

"Dear… heart?"

"For now, you are. But just for now," he says as I help him down the stairs. I let him sit on the couch while I go to raid the fridge for something edible. All I can find are eggs and cheese so an omelet it is. I'm good at making omelets, so I hope he doesn't mind.

I make one for him and one for me, then bring them into the living room where he's curled on the couch with a pillow in his arms. He smiles at me and I stop, dead in my tracks.

I kinda… _like_ that smile.

"You okay?" he asks as he carefully sits upright.

I nod and hurriedly bring the food over. What the hell is wrong with me? He takes the plate from me but his fingers linger for just a moment longer than they should, leaving a burning feeling on my skin. I pull my hand away and nearly throw the fork at him.

He just smirks and doesn't say anything.

Bastard.

We eat in silence, watching something stupid on the television. I try not to look at him, which a little hard since he finished his omelet in two bites and spent the rest of the time reclining back like a cat, moving his stomach in funky ways that I can't describe.

I just…

I can't really take my eyes off him.

He glances at me and I quickly look back at the television. Shit.

"You… alright there?"

"Yep. Fine."

"Oh. Okay then." I can feel him moving but I keep my eyes glued on the screen. Then there's a hand on my shoulder and I nearly scream. Instead it comes out a choked yelp and I look to my left at him leering at me.

"He…llo?"

He smiles that toothy grin at me. "Jumpy?"

"No!"

"Uh huh… Uh, do you have any kind of pain killer? Or… alcohol?" He thinks for a moment then nods. "Actually, alcohol would probably be best in this situation. I mean, I got the crap beat out of me. It works best for times like this."

Oh yeah, _right. _"I do, but I'm not giving it to you."

"Why's that?"

"Because you're not twenty-_one," _I inform him.

He rolls his eyes. "C'mon now, sugar pie," he coos as he leans in close to me. "Pretty _please?"_

Awww… stop it! Get away from me you psycho touchy-feely person! "Go away," I mumble as I try to push him away. He doesn't give up though. "Go _away!" _I shout and push him back on the couch. He lets out a loud and pained yelp and I turn to look at him quickly.

He's clutching his side and his eyes are closed tightly. Oh crap, I forgot. I slap myself mentally and crawl over to him, half on top of him. "I'm sorry! I'm so _sorry!" _I apologize. He opens his eyes and gives me a weak smile.

"I'll get you back for that, eventually."

I sigh and bite my lip, then stand up and head into the kitchen. My parents keep so much booze in the house it's ridiculous. I mean shit, I'm only fifteen. They should at least _try _and hide it or something.

I find a bottle of rum and grab a low tumbler out of the cabinet. After dropping a few ice cubes into it I pour in the rum, then some cola and stir it with a straw. I bring it out to Axel who still looks like he's in a lot of pain on the couch. His eyes light up and he claps his hands together.

"Hot damn!"

"Shut up," I mumble as I hand it to him. He nearly downs it and I get up to make him another one. At least if he's drunk he won't bother me…

* * *

So it takes quite a lot to get him drunk. I've since switched from low tumblers to tall tumblers and I think we're at… number eight? I even added more rum but he only got pink in the face… and kinda tipsy. But not drunk. 

I know drunk.

"So why'd ya move here?" he asks as he scoots closer to me on the couch. Which is what he always does every time I sit down. I scoot away, practically on the armrest. "I mean, if you liked Twilight Town so much."

I snort. "I didn't particularly _like _it there. That was just the last place I lived."

"Oh." Axel smirks at me and brushes his hair out of his face. "I've lived here most of my life."

"That's nice," I mumble as I try and watch the television.

But he won't stop staring.

"Can I _help _you?" I snap at him.

"Hmm? No."

Maybe he _is _drunk if he keeps staring.

After a few more minutes he finally turns to look at the television. It has something to do with ghosts now… Maybe Ghost Hunters? He seems thoroughly interested so I take the opportunity to run upstairs and take a breather. He doesn't say anything as I trample up the stairs for dear life.

Well… at least I have some peace and quiet now.

Until I hear footsteps. Damnit. I look through the crack in my door and Axel's stumbling up the steps. Shit shit _sh-it. _Please don't let him fall. Maybe I can hide? He's so… _weird._

He looks at the door and sees me peeking. He smiles and waves. "Hello there."

"What do you _want?"_

"I didn't know where you were going. I got worried."

"What? That doesn't make any sense at all."

He shrugs, hands out to either side with palms facing up. And then there's that look again and he grabs his side, trying to stand. Oh come _on _God! This is so not _fair! _Like I haven't helped the guy out already…

I open the door and put my arm around his waist, careful not to hurt him. "Come on, you should probably lie down," I mumble, my voice softer than I care to say. He makes a small noise and I lead him into my room and help him sit on the bed. He doesn't look _nearly _as… _weird _as yesterday. Except for his facial tattoos. Those are still weird.

… Kinda.

Not that I like them. Because they're stupid. Tattoos are stupid.

"You always stare at people like that?" he asks, arching a brow as he tries to breathe. "Or is it just me?"

I don't say anything. I just stand there and stare some more. How old _is _this guy, anyway?"

"What… grade are you in?"

"Huh? They didn't tell you?"

I shake my head. Tell me what? "Our school doesn't have grades. We only go by credits. You can take any class you want as long as you fulfill the general courses, kinda like college. Since we're all hippie and shit."

Oh. I guess that makes sense. "So that's why we're in the same class when we're different ages?"

"Yeah. You're what… fourteen? Fifteen?"

"Fifteen."

He seems to like that idea. Creepy. He does that weird smile thing again and I cringe. "I'm seventeen. Eighteen this year."

"Oh. Okay."

"You just gonna stand there?"

No. Yes. If I sit by you you might get the wrong idea. Asshole. "Yeah."

"You _sure?" _he teases before clicking his tongue. He leans back, hand resting over his stomach, and hooks his thumb in the elastic of the pants. "Absolutely _positive?"_

"Uhm… well…"

STUPID STUPID _STUPID!_

"'Cause you could sit _with _me, yanno."

Why do I actually consider this? He's a _guy. _And a weird one to boot. So…

Why am I sitting down with him?

"Not so hard there, eh?"

I don't look at him. I don't even breathe. This is so weird. My stomach's doing little flip flops and my heart's beating so fast. What the hell? Why do I feel so sick? … Well, not really _sick _sick… just… weird.

What is this guy's deal?

"You okay? Yer looking kinda _pa-ale," _he sings.

"Yep. Fine."

"Sure…" He nudges me with his knee before laying back in the bed. On my pillows. On my sheets. _In my bed. _I'm gonna need to sterilize them. I have no _idea _where this guy's been.

Well, other than with me.

"You're really quiet. Are you always this quiet?"

_Why are you even talking to me?!_

"Uh, yeah."

"Oh." He seems to consider that for a minute before laughing. "I'm not quiet at all! In fact… people tell me I'm a little loud. Huh. Go figure."

"You _are _loud."

Axel's smile turns into a full blown grin and he licks his lips. "Dare to say it to my face, kiddo?"

"No."

"Why?"

Well _duh. _I don't want to get eaten by your demon fangs of death!

But I don't say that.

"Uh, no reason."

"Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Care to join me?" he asks quietly, putting his hand on mine.

_What?!_

"No!" I scream before jumping up and running out, slamming the door behind me. He doesn't follow. Thank God.

But…

… he has really soft hands…

FUCK.

* * *

I open my eyes slowly. Why is everything green? … Wait… Eyes? I sit up straight and blink, Axel entirely too close to my face. He's in his clothes again, well, at least his jeans. What time _is _it, anyway? 

"Hey there."

"Uh, hi," I mumble as I rub my eyes tiredly. "You changed. Are you going home?" And it comes out sadder than it should be. It shouldn't be sad at all. Why is this _happening _to me? Why can't I be _normal _around him?

He shakes his head. "Nah. It still hurts to walk around. I just wanted to put some of my clothes on again. I rinsed 'em and let 'em dry. Hope you don't mind."

"No."

"Good. So… food time. What else ya got around here?"  
"I don't know. My parents do most of the shopping."

"Wanna order something?"

"Do you have money?" I ask, arching a brow.

He grins sheepishly. It's cute, considering it's _him. _"Nope!"

I sigh. I kinda want pizza… "Want to order pizza?"

"Hell yes!"

"What kind do you eat?" I ask as I pick up the cordless sitting next to me on the couch. Thank God mom likes to program pizza first on our phone. 911 is next; a close second, but not as important as delivery pizza.

"Tomato and onion." I look up and give him a weird look. "What? It's _good, _so long as it's thin crust."

"Uh, okay."

Personally, I like extra cheese deep dish pizzas the best. I've got enough for both. And a salad. Salad's good. I'm sure they've got some kinda deal or something when you order that much. And maybe some cheesy bread stick thingies with extra marinara sauce…

I order, then put the phone down and stare at Axel who's still kinda leering at me. Weirdo. Freak. _Psycho. _He turns to the side, giving me a wonderful look at that big ass bruise he's got. It nearly takes up his whole side. He stretches up, jeans falling lower on his body as his stomach goes in. He yawns, then stops and looks at me.

Shit, I'm staring again.

"Hey… you really _do _like to stare at me, huh."

I know it's not a question.

"Whatever," I mumble as I curl up into a little ball on the couch. Leave me _alone _you stupid… stupid… Ugh. Whatever. You're just _stupid._

"You can stare, if you want."

"Shut up."

He doesn't say anything for a minute, then asks, "Do you think I'm attractive?"

What the _hell?! _Shit, this guy's crazy. Except… for the fact… that in my head…

I say yes. But only in my head. That doesn't really count. He's not really… well, he _is _attractive. Why the hell am I arguing with myself?! It's not like I'm thinking about him naked or something…

Oh _eww._

I… kinda am. Damnit. Stop undressing him with your eyes, Roxas. It's not like I like guys… _like that. _Get it together, get it together…

"No," I finally spit out.

His face falls and he sticks his hands in his pockets. "Oh. Well, with the way you look at me… I would'a thought that you did."

"Nope."

"Ya sure?"

I don't say anything but look at him for a moment. And he grins. Then he raises his arms and bends them to crack his shoulders. Pop. POP. Gross. And then… he rolls his stomach and winks at me.

My eyes are wide, I know, and I'm blushing.

Why the hell am I _blushing?!_

"Again… ya sure?" he teases as he plops himself down on the couch next to me. He's too close again, and my face is getting hotter… and hotter…

Ack! Get _away _from me!

"Fine, whatever," I mumble, hoping that'll appease to his self-obsessiveness. Narcissist. "You're not bad."

"I don't _care."_

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

Stupid Axel. Stupid Axel in my face and at my house. I _hate _you.

"You've got such a little waist," I blurt out, trying to make my face stop burning. Axel turns his head and looks at me, then gives me a half-smile.

"I know. I can't help it. I try to eat a lot."

"And… your hips are big…" Oh, stupid thing to say. He sits up on the couch on his knees and pulls his jeans down lower than I care to mention and rests his thumbs on either side of his hips.

"Yeah, they kinda are, aren't they!" He laughs, then ruffles my hair. Ugh, stop _doing _that. "Well, they're good for a lot of things."

"Like what?"

Oh my God. That was the dumbest question in the history of dumb questions. Do I even _want _to know what he does with his hips? No. Because he'll _show me, _not tell me. Goddamnit. I wanna disappear now, into this stupid couch.

"Like dancing!" And it's like some music I can't hear turns on because he grabs my hands and pulls me up and starts dancing. And I can't turn away because it's kinda… hot…

Okay, I admit it. He's hot. Really, really hot. But I'm not attracted to him, because he's a guy. Even if he _is _kinda girly, with the little waist and big hips.

"Aiieee!" I yelp as he grabs my waist and pulls me toward him, rolling his hips against me.

"Chill. I'm only trying to _dance _with you," he says matter-of-factly.

Aww man… I don't _wanna _dance with you. Or like it. Mainly, I don't want to like it…

"You okay? You look like you're gonna pass out."

"Uh huh…"

"Hmm?"

"I think…" I trail off as everything gets fuzzy.

* * *

"Earth to Roxas!" someone shouts. I open my eyes a little and I can see two faces. Green eyes on the left, pale blue ones on the right. Oh, someone new? 

"He's coming to. Good. He can pay for the pizza," blue eyes says.

"Yeah yeah, chill Leon."

I try and sit up but then I realize that Axel's sitting on _top _of me and I nearly freak out. "Hey hey hey hey hey!" I scream as I try and swat him away.

He laughs and moves to sit next to me on the floor, one leg bent into his chest the other parallel with the floor. "Relax, it's only me. And Leon." He pauses, then introduces us. "Leon, Roxas. Roxas, Leon. Leon brings us pizza, but at a price. Your _soul," _he jokes as he waves his hands around all dangerous-like. Weirdo.

"Uh, here," I mumble as I pull money out of my pocket and hand it to Axel. "That should be enough."

He hands the money to Leon, who smirks and stands up. "Yanno, Axel," he says as he heads for the door, "that would've been a perfect excuse to feel him up." The door opens and closes, and I turn to look at Axel but he's staring at the floor.

… And he's blushing.

HOLY SHIT.

"Uh, what was _that _about?" I ask him.

"Nothing!"

"Uh huh…"

And for the first time since we've met, _he's _the one who's uncomfortable.

Yippee!


	3. Kiss in the dark

A.N.: Thanks to everyone for reviewing!! Especially my wonderful beta **Beutelmaus** for all the support!! I'll keep this short so you can get on to the wonderful chapter I've written for you all!!

**No Reason**

* * *

**Chapter Three**  
_**Kiss in the dark**_

* * *

I sit up quickly, sweat pouring off my face. I can't remember if I was screaming or not. I don't know why… I can't ever remember. The dreams… they're always the same but I can't remember _why. _Why am I so scared of the dark? 

A hand touches me and I jump. "Hey… it's just me," Axel's voice says soothingly. "You okay? You were screaming so I came downstairs. Huh… I probably should'a turned on a light."

"I-I'm fine…" I stutter as I pull my knees into my chest. I won't cry in front of him. I won't. But… I always cry after one of those dreams. Nightmares. Whatever they are, I don't really have a word for it. I just feel so _dead _on the inside…

"Are… are you _sure?"_

I choke back a sob. I won't do it. Nope. I won't.

"Roxas?"

"Uh huh?"

"C'mere." He pulls me into his arms and we just stay like that for a minute sitting on my couch, him holding me in his arms and running his fingers through my hair. I don't know how he manages not to catch a snag or something, I don't really ever brush my hair.

I still won't cry. Not in front of anyone. Ever.

"Wanna tell me what's wrong?"

"No," I mumble.

"Okay."

That simple. More simple than it should be. Why is it so easy for him to be like he is? I don't understand it… He's crazy, and ridiculous, and _weird_ but he doesn't really care. Why?

"Why…" I sniffle for a second, "Why don't you care that people think you're a nutcase?"

He laughs. "Do _you _think I'm a nutcase?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh. Well, uh… I guess I'm just used to it!"

That makes sense. "So it doesn't bother you?"

"Nope." His hand moves down my face to trace over my cheekbone. My heart stops for a second, then triples in speed. Oh crap. Not _again. _I can feel my face growing hot and I can hear Axel giggle.

Yeah, _giggle. _Not laugh, or chuckle, or anything like that. He _giggles._

"What's so funny?" I groan.

"I make you blush, that's what."

"You do _not!"_

"I don't?"

I sigh. I don't wanna argue. I'm tired. And it's not like I'll even _win _the battle since he's right. I am blushing.

But why does he make me blush?

… Like I don't already know, hmph.

"Fine. You do. Whatever. You win."

He jerks my head up and I can see just his eyes in the dark. "Do I?" he whispers, pizza breath tickling my nose. I can't move. I can't think. I just… stare. A small grin tugs on the corner of his lips and he finally smiles. "I think… that I like that. I like making you blush."

Holy crap.

"Uh, good for you?" I say meekly as I try and get away. It doesn't work. However it happened, his arm's around my waist and I have a feeling he's not letting me go.

"So…"

"Uh, erm…"

"Why do you blush around… _me?"_ And the question comes out uncertain. His face falters and his eyes drop, not meeting mine. He's… shy? No way. This guy, this completely psycho guy… is shy? Around _me?_

Sometimes life is good. "Because."

"Because what?" he's interested, but he won't look up.

Oh, it'd be so mean to play with him. But I kinda want to. Serves him right, for teasing me all the time. I need to at _least _catch up. "Maybe because I think you're cute… and sexy… and drop dead _gorgeous, _especially the way you dance."

Axel looks up at me. "Or maybe… I just think you're crazy. And that you should let me go. Now."

His face falls and he lets me go, standing up quickly. "Good night, Roxas."

He heads up the stairs and I suddenly feel _ridiculously_ bad for saying that. Well, the second part. I guess… the first part was kinda true. Maybe I should apologize? I mean… he _did _come down to make sure I was okay.

This is by _no means _an attempt to stare at him.

… Well, just a little.

I head up the stairs quietly and stop at the door. I hear a heavy sigh and then some mumbling. Is he talking to himself?

"Stupid blondie… acting so mean…" he mumbles. I take that opportunity – since if I waited he might have a full blown conversation – to knock on the door. "Uh, yeah?" he asks as I push the door open.

"Hey."

He stares at me like he wasn't expecting me. Except that I'm the only one here. Stupid. "What are _you _doing up here?"

"I was just kidding around earlier. You don't need to feel bad."

"I _don't _feel bad," he says defensively.

"I heard you talking to yourself. Outside the door. You should really only talk to yourself _in _your head, not out loud."

He blushes. It's so _cute _when he blushes. I shake my head quickly and he wrinkles his nose. "Why're you _here. _To make me feel worse?"

"Worse about what?"

He opens his mouth to say something, then closes it.

"Well?" I prod.

"Nothing. I'm going to bed."

"Oh. You don't want company?"

It comes out of my mouth so wrong and I know it does, but I think he knows what I mean. He doesn't make any weird perverted jokes or anything, either. He just scoots over on the bed and pats a spot next to him. "I won't bite," he informs me as I sit down.

"Yeah. _Sure."_

"Well… only if you _want _me to." The words are deliberate and he practically whispers them into my ear in this slightly raspy voice. Shit. My stomach flips and suddenly I'm feeling hot again.

"No, that's okay," I manage to respond.

"Whatever you want."

Axel lies down on his side and stares up at me, not smiling but not frowning. He really does have the prettiest eyes. I really like green eyes, being that green's my favorite color. And his eyes are that _perfect _shade of green that never looks too dark or too light.

I'm staring again.

"So…" he trails off and props his head up on his arm.

"So…"

He grins at me and sits up a little more. Before he can say anything I blurt out,

"I hate the dark!"

"O-okay."

Stupid. Stupid stupid _stupid._

"Want me to turn on a light or something?"

"No, it's okay."

"Ya sure?"

"Uh huh."

He smirks. "Any girlfriends?"

"That's random."

He shrugs. "So? Just answer the question."

"No, no girlfriends."

"Hmm."

"What about you?"

I know he was waiting for me to say that. I know what he's gonna say. Except I kinda don't wanna hear it because then it's _awkward _and I don't really wanna be awkward around him.

Well… I kinda already am. But that's not the point.

"Nope. No girlfriends."

That's because you don't like girls.

"Because you're gay?" I spit out and I clasp my hands over my mouth because not only was that _rude, _it was completely stupid. And random. Why do I have to _do _shit like that?!

Axel arches a brow and sits up completely, hands in his lap. "Umm… what?" he says as he leans toward me.

"Nothing! Sorry!" I scream.

He stares at me. "Uh…"

"I didn't mean that… like, uh… well. If you are… not that you _are _but if you are then it's fine and I don't care but like I said there's nothing _wrong_ with it—"

He smashes his hand against my mouth and leans into me, the other hand holding the back of my neck to keep me from moving away. "Shut up for a second, will ya?" I nod slowly. "You think I'm gay?"

"Mm hmm!" I mumble through his hand.

"You're positive?"

"Mm hmm."

"You'd bet your life on it?"

I don't hesitate. "Mm _hmm."_

"Huh. I guess I don't hide it well, do I."

"Mmm mmm."

"Was that a no?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Okay.

It's kind of amusing that he can still understand me even through his hand. "Mmm mmm hmm mmm!"

"Oh, sorry." He removes his hand from my mouth but not from my neck. "Should I call you out, too?"

"What?"

"You. You called me out. I should do the same."

"Call me out on _what?"_

"… Well…" He smirks a little and presses his forehead against mine. I close my eyes tightly. "On… you being gay."

"I'm _not _gay."

"Oh?" He's amused, I can hear it in his voice, but I won't open my eyes. I'm gonna pretend this isn't happening. Not happening… not _happening._

"Nope."

"Okay. But you're not _homophobic, _are you?"

"Obviously not if you're in my bed."

He laughs. "You're right. My bad. So… how open minded _are _you, anyway?"

"Very!" I shout and open my eyes. Bad idea.

"Yeah?"

His lips hover over mine and I can practically taste him. Which is kinda gross… but kinda not at the same time. "Uh… I should go to bed now."

"You sure?"

"Mm hmm."

"Want me to let you go then?"

And I don't say anything.

"Should I…" he arches a brow suggestively, "take that as your answer? Or are you still thinking of a witty comeback?"

I should stop staring at his mouth. His cute little mouth that curls up into scary smiles with sharp pointy teeth that are still so fucking _hot… _Oh damnit. I don't really think I like girls at all…

I guess I already knew that though.

Huh. What'll my parents think? If I had a… _boy_friend?

"If I kissed you, would you hit me in the side?"

I snap back into reality. "What?"

Axel's cheeks are flushed. "I _said… _if I kissed you, would you hit me in the side? Because this bruise hurts enough that I wouldn't."

"Uhhh…"

"Nevermind. You should go to bed."

"O…kay." Axel lets go of my face and I stand up.

Before I close the door I turn around and smirk at him. "By the way… I wouldn't have hit you. I might've just kissed back."

He stares at me.

"Good night, Axel."

"WAIT!!!"

"Yeah?" I arch a brow as I stand in the doorway. Axel throws his legs over the side of the bed and runs to the door, then grabs me by my shirt and pushes me against the doorframe.

I stare at him, shocked. Whoa. "You mean that?" he asks.

"Uh, yeah."

"No joke. You weren't just fucking with my head, right?"

"Uh… _yeah."_

He kisses me. No tongue, just a wonderfully amazing single kiss on the lips. My heart's about to pop out of my chest it's beating so fast. Maybe I'm actually having a heart attack? Whatever. I don't _care._

Axel pulls away and stares at me, his face almost as red as his hair. "Okay, so don't hit me," he jokes.

Suddenly, I don't want him out of my sight. "Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"C'mere."

He gives me a funny look as I grab his hand and pull him over to the bed. "Don't get the wrong idea," I mumble as I lie down in the bed and pull him in with me. "Okay?"

His arm snakes around my waist as I turn away from him. He rests his head above mine and he sighs happily into my ear. I can feel his heart beating against my back and it's comforting. For whatever reason.

"Yeah. No problem."

"Good night."

"G'night."


	4. PDA

A.N. So here I am, finally. And UPDATING.

For those of you who are newer... this is the **author** XD And I'm so sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus. My **Sora MUSE** has temporarily been... _incapacitated... _and I've been so busy with so many things. You know, **being in love** and all. Which is thankfully over and I can finally write again. Because, if you've read my profile, being in that position just doens't bode well for my creative juices.

So. I'd like to thank my dear **Sora MUSE**, **Beautelmaus** (btw, I have a new email girlie, check my profile for it and email me there or on my LJ!!) and **Mikomi-Kiyoko** for being dear hearts and being there for me. **Mikomi**, I've got things for you to **beta**, promise. Lemme just get 'em all sorted out.

Also!! Please check out my **POLLS**, the more people who vote, the faster I'll get things out because I'll know what _you guys want. _And I'm here to please, so don't be shy!! Drop me a line anytime on my **email**, which you can find on my **profile**. So that's that, much luv to all my **dear readers and reviewers,** and look for more coming soon!!

**No Reason**

**

* * *

Chapter Four  
_PDA_

* * *

**There's a phone ringing. Somewhere. I try to move but something's stopping me. Wait… an arm. Oh _yeah…_

I push the arm off me and sit up in the bed, pulling my phone out of my pocket. "Hello?" I mumble.

"Hi, honey! How are you?"

"Oh, hi mom. What's up? Where're you and dad? How'd the deal go?"

"Aww, honey the deal went _fine. _We're actually on our way home. We should be back in time for dinner, as long as the weather doesn't act up. It's been raining all night." She pauses, then asks, "Were you okay sleeping? I know it's worse when it rains, especially when you're alone."

"Yeah, I'm fine mom."

"No parties, right?"

I try not to laugh. "No, no parties."

"Well, as long as there were no parties I'm happy. You've been eating, right?"

_"Yes, _mother."

"Good! Well, we'll see you around dinner time. Dad wants to try this new restaurant. It's not too far from your school. Some Japanese place… Sushi, I think. Well, be good honey. I love you!"

"Yeah, love you too," I say before closing the phone.

"Aww, ain't that sweet."

Axel's awake.

I roll my eyes then as I try to stand up but he pulls me back down. "Stop it," I mumble, swatting him away. He doesn't pout, just stares at me, shakes his head. _"What?"_

"Nothing."

"No, _what? _What were you gonna say?" I ask as I stretch in front of the window with my back to him. Arms up, to the side, to the other side…

"Nothing. Last night didn't happen. That's okay."

"Hmm? What do you mean?" I turn around and wrinkle my nose before leering at him.

He arches a brow. "I know you weren't drunk. So don't pretend."

I'm not _pretending _anything. Jesus, what is he, a girl? I laugh in my head at that and he gives me an odd look. I resist the urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"Pretend what? That we didn't kiss and sleep in the same bed?"

He's staring…

"What?!" I shout at him.

"I… just thought that…"

I stifle back a laugh in a feeble attempt to protect his feelings. I'm feeling generous this morning. "I'm not _that _mean. But don't think it'll happen again," I say as I wave a finger in his face."I just don't like the rain, or the dark. So thanks for protecting me!"

I'm not good at making jokes. To be quite honest, I have a _terrible _sense of humor and it usually shows. He seems annoyed at my attempt to lighten the mood and furrows a brow. "Oh, okay."

"Well, my parents are gonna be back around dinner time. Uh, are you well enough to walk home? Did you want me to walk with you?" I ask, trying to change the subject.  
"No, it's okay. I'll have Demyx pick me up."

"Demyx?"

Axel nods. "Yeah. My friend."

"Okay."

Axel shooes me out of the room as he takes his cell phone out of his pocket. I leave the room without a fight but stand by the door, listening eagerly. It's not like he _asked _for privacy. Well, not exactly.

So what? I'm _curious _as to why he needed me to leave.

Demyx is very loud.

"What _happened _to you, man?! We were so fucking _worried! _Larxene nearly had a heart attack, and I waited all _night _for you to show up but you never did!"

"Yeah, about that…"

"Well? Spill the beans!"

"I got attacked and that new kid, Roxas, found me and took me back to his house. I've been here ever since."

There's silence on the other end. Is his friend mad? "… Holy shit. You mean the new kid with those _gorgeous _blue eyes and spikey hair that he really needs to comb but doesn't and it looks just _perfect _anyway."

"Uh, yeah. Him."

"I wonder what _you _guys did…"

"Demyx!"

"What?" There was laughter on his friend's end. "It's just… yanno… since he-who-shall-not-be-named—"

"Shut _up, _Demyx."

"Yeah yeah. I just thought that he'd be… yanno… kinda _fun."_

"It's not _like _that."

"Oh, whatever. You were eyeballing him all day at school. How ironic that he just so happens to come to your rescue, huh? Oh yeah… you _are _alright, aren't you? I mean… how many of them were there?"

Axel sighs. "I don't know… at least four of them. I think. It's still fuzzy."

"But you're _sure _you're okay?"

"Yeah. I just… it's nothing."

"Nah, c'mon. Tell me!"

"I… kinda like him…"

"Wait, what do you _mean, _kinda like him? Like… _really _like him? He-who-shall-not-be-named must seriously be out of the picture, then."

Axel remains silent, something that must not happen often because Demyx continues, "So, ask him out."

My heart jumps into my throat and I can feel my cheeks flushing. He doesn't even know I'm listening and I'm _still _embarrassed. What rotten luck.

Axel shakes his head, back turned to me, and lets his head drop. "I… can't."

"Why?"

_"Because, _Demyx."

"Because _what?"_

"Because he doesn't like me!" he screams into the phone.

I'm caught off guard by the deafening volume of his voice and fall into the partially closed door head-first. Axel turns around, his eyes firmly focused on me, and stares. He most definitely isn't amused.

" Geez, man. You don't have to _yell."_

"Demyx, come pick me up. Remember where Tidus used to live? That's Roxas's house. Bye." He closes the phone and shoves it in his pocket, ignoring me. His shoulder catches mine as he shoves past me and hurries down the stairs.

And he doesn't say a word.

* * *

I trudge into my first class, yawning softly, and sit down at the back of the room. Just as the bell rings Axel runs in and – go figure – the only seat left is next to me. He sighs as he sits down, not making eye contact.

I feel kinda bad. Mostly because… well… nevermind.

We get through the class without any incidents, which is good. I take my notes and he sleeps, keeping his head turned away from me. Cloud chucks markers at him to keep him awake… and so on and so on.

The rest of the day mostly goes like that. Except for the fact that every class with him I can't help but _stare. _Because in all honesty…

He's gorgeous.

So after school I'll talk to him. Which is in all of thirty seconds…

The bell goes off and I grab my things, then race outside to the steps. That's where they were standing yesterday. I sit on the stone steps and wait for them to come outside.

"'Cause I'm _so _sick of love songs, so tired of tears," Demyx sings – at least I assume it's Demyx because the loud voice is familiar – as he drags Axel out of the school. Axel pushes him away and pretends to kick him.

"Axel!" I shout. Axel, the supposed-Demyx, and the pink-haired guy all look at me. Suddenly I feel very awkward…

He turns to Demyx and whispers something. Demyx smirks and slaps him on the back before walking toward me.

Crap. Crap. CRAP. What do I say?

"Yeah?" he says, eyebrow arched. "What's up?"

"Umm…"

"Woo hoo!" Demyx shouts from the other side of the steps. Axel gives him the finger at the same time I do. "Ooh, touchy _touchy, _aren't we?" he jokes.

"Fuck _off, _Demyx!"

Axel twists back to look at me and folds his arms over his chest. "Well?"

"Oh, yeah. Right." I clear my throat and smile. "Wanna be friends?"

He starts laughing. Right in my face. "Shit, _that's _what you wanted to ask me? If we can be friends?"

"Uh… huh…" My face is hot and flushed. Stupid Axel!

"Yeah, we can be friends," he says with a small smirk. "Wanna come with us to grab something to eat?"

"Sure!"

And suddenly everything is okay again.

I think.

The pink haired guy is Marluxia. He's weird. And feminine. And kinda pretty, but only in a really girly way. His favorite color is black, and he hates hardcore metal but loves industrial rock and anything that is emo.

Demyx loves all the classics but also has a huge thing for anything emotastic. He also loves action movies and eating cake batter. And butter. He really likes butter, and grease. So fast food, naturally, is his favorite thing in the world. He's the mullet-headed one.

"So how do you like the school so far?" Demyx asks me as he dips a handful of fries into the ranch dipping sauce and then the ketchup. Oh _gross. _I am _so _not touching that later.

"It's okay."

"Yeah?" He smirks and nudges Marluxia who's busy looking at himself in a mirror. I wonder when he pulled that out?

I'm sitting next to Axel. And trying not to change colors or suffocate. Maybe asking to be friends was the wrong thing to ask… I smile to myself and someone kicks me under the table.

"Ow!" I shout. "What was _that _for?!"

Demyx grins. "Sorry, wrong person."

"Uh huh…" I turn my attention back to the half a burger I have left sitting on my plate. I push my fries around, only half interested in the conversation _or _my food. I keep sneaking glances at Axel who's happily chatting away with Marluxia about some project that they're working on.

And then I feel it.

I look down at my lap and there's a hand on my thigh. I try not to blush. He squeezes my leg once, then softly massages it. I look at him but his facial expression hasn't changed. I shove some fries into my mouth and Demyx gives me a funny look.

"You okay?"

"Yep!"

"Uh… okay?" He shrugs then joins in Axel's and Marluxia's conversation.

Carefully… I scoot a little closer to Axel. He glances at me for a second and I can see him smiling with those pretty green eyes of his. The hand moves higher up my thigh and I almost squeal. Almost.

"…it's not due until next week so we've got time and… Jesus Roxas, are you okay? You look like you're about to sprout a nosebleed!" Demyx exclaims as my face goes bright red. Holy crap.

Marluxia looks at Axel who winks and Marluxia's face breaks into a smile. "I think he's fine, Demyx. You're just overreacting. Here," Marluxia pushes a soda in my direction. "He's probably just thirsty. Something went down the wrong tube, right Roxas?"

I nod and down the soda as quickly as possible. My face feels less hot, thank goodness. "Yeah, just down the wrong tube!"

"You _sure _you're alright there?" Axel asks – well, more like whispers – into my ear. "Friends have to… _watch out _for each other, right?" And his fingers trail up my body and stop at my stomach, sliding under my shirt and pinching my baby fat. Asshole.

"Bathroom break!" I exclaim as I stand up hastily in the booth and run away from him. Run, run far the hell away. He is _way _too much, I've decided. He's so freaking _perverted, _doing all that while we're in public.

I splash my face with water and lean over the sink, trying to sort things out in my head. At what point does being friends involve him seriously molesting my leg, anyway? And my stomach fat… I look down at my stomach and lift my shirt up.

"It's okay. _I _don't think you're fat," I say to it.

"Neither do I. It's cute."

Crap. That was _so _not my stomach responding.

I turn around and see Axel leaning against the bathroom door. "Uh… heh." I smile and scratch the back of my head with a goofy grin on my face. "Hello there."

"How are _you?" _he asks as he walks over and half hunches toward me while giving me this ridiculously cute look. "You alright?"

"Yeah."

"Demyx thinks you're hot. Marluxia thinks you're cute."

"Oh. Yay. They're gay too?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. We all are." He holds up his arm and shows me a rainbow wrist band. "That's why we wear these. The girls' school started a club for lezzies and let us join since we're gay. Or something. Larxene started it. Thing is… she isn't even _gay _or anything…" he rambles on and on while I stare at his mouth moving.

It's so pretty.

I wanna kiss it.

I grab Axel's face and he's surprised but his mouth doesn't stop, although it does slow down. Enough for me to kiss it, in fact.

When I pull away he's just standing there, completely in a daze. "Uh… huh. What the… _hell _just happened?"

"I don't know," I call back to him as I walk out of the bathroom.

Axel follows behind me and grabs my hand. I pull it away. "Hey!" he hisses in annoyance. "You're gonna practically _make out _with me in the bathroom but I can't hold your fucking _hand?"_

"No!" I sit down and scoot over so I'm across from Marluxia instead of Demyx. He looks amused.

"Asshole," Axel mumbles. I punch him. "Oww!"

"Aww!" Demyx squeals. We both kick him. "Jesus! That fucking _hurt!"_

"Good," Axel mutters as he picks at my fries. I look down at his plate and it's wiped clean, like he licked it. Eww. Well… maybe that's kinda hot. If he likes to lick stuff.

Wait… when did _I _become such a perv?

I sigh and shake my head. I should really not think like that. Thank God my parents aren't like, seriously religious. I wonder what they'll say when they find out? … _If _they find out, that is.

"What's wrong?" I whisper to him as Demyx turns his attention to stealing pieces of Marluxia's salad.

"Nothing."

"Liar."

Axel turns his head toward me and plants a quick and chaste kiss on my lips. I stare at him, wide-eyed, and I can hear a tray drop somewhere followed by breaking glass. I look to my right and see our waitress trying to pick up her mess, eyes bouncing between the pieces on the floor and us.

My face goes cherry fucking red and Demyx cheers. "Yeah! Woo hoo!"

Oh.

My.

God.

"I have to go," I mumble as I shove Axel out of the booth and onto the floor. Demyx and Marluxia jump up, Marluxia throwing some money on the table as I run out of the restaurant.

Shit.

I run for a block before stopping dead in my tracks and staring at the ground. "Why'd he…"

In public. In _public. _Where people from school are. Well, not really. But people in general. That was just rude! I'm _so _not into public displays of affection, even with my own parents. Plus, it's not like _he's _allowed to do that. I am. 'Cause… I am.

I don't know.

I hear someone shouting my name and it's Axel, Demyx, and Marluxia. "Hey!" Demyx shouts as he waves his hand at me. "Dude, stop running!"

"I _have _stopped running, you idiot," I groan as they draw closer.

"What's _wrong?" _Marluxia asks me.

"He… he _kissed _me in public."

"Uh huh…" Demyx rubs his chin like he's thinking, except he really isn't. I can tell. "So… how does that make you _feel?"_

What is he, a fucking psychiatrist? "Me? It makes me feel embarrassed!"

Axel arches a brow. "Didn't seem to in the bathroom."

"What?!" Demyx and I both shout. We look at each other, then at Axel, and then Demyx bursts out laughing while I turn around and stomp away. Stupid… stupid… Argh! I don't even have a _word _for him!

"Wait!" Axel shouts. I ignore him.

I am going home.

* * *

This was written quite a while ago... but I hope you enjoyed. Don't forget to R&R, and come back for more soon!!

confess


	5. Better left unsaid

**No Reason**

****

_

* * *

  
_Chapter Five  
_Better left unsaid_

* * *

I _hate _sitting by myself at lunch. On top of the tables always being taken (which leaves me sitting alone wallowing in my near self-pity, but not quite) I have to worry about all the asshat hotshots tripping over me. It's not as easy as it looks, fending for yourself next to the only soda vending machine in the school.

Oh well.

I see Axel and Marluxia chattering away at a table, hopelessly oblivious to the fucktarded fact that I'm over here, and they're over there. And then Marluxia's eyes meet mine and he smiles.

What the hell is he so happy about? Not that I want to break from my oh-so-funny volatile banter as I debate whether or not to eat my mystery meat sandwich.

Marluxia looks back at Axel and nods his head in my direction. Oh _crap. _Axel arches a brow and glances in my direction but like the wind I'm in-fucking-visible, ducking my head down to shove it into a book. I'm not even sure it's _my _book, but it's better than nothing.

To no avail. A few moments later someone's standing in front of me, tapping their foot, and I have only the _soggiest _idea of who it might be. Yeah. Right.

"Hey there."

"Hello." I don't look up.

"What'cha reading?"

"Uh, a book."

"Upside down?"

… Busted.

I look up and smile weakly. "Heyyyyyy."

"Wanna come sit with us?"

I blink. "Me?"

"Yeah, you. C'mon. You can sit with me and Marluxia."

"O-okay." I stand up and follow Axel back to the table. I sit on Marluxia's side, trying to stay away from Axel. I'm still pissed… well, more _embarrassed _than anything, about last night.

Marluxia laughs and nudges me in the shoulder. "He doesn't bite. Really."

"Yeah…"

"So how's your day been?" Marluxia asks me.

"It's okay."

"Finding your classes alright?" Axel asks as he pokes at the food on his plate. I watch him sheepishly but he really doesn't seem too interested in the answer. He seems kinda off.

"Uh, yeah. The school's not that big."

"Uh huh…" He pushes some peas around on his plate and suddenly jumps up. "Oww! Shit Marluxia!"

I arch a brow and glance at Marluxia who's shrugging. "Sorry."

Axel frowns, then looks at me and smiles. "What're you doing after school?"  
"Nothing."

"Wanna hang out with us again?" Marluxia asks.

"Uh… depends."

"On?" Axel arches a brow this time before winking at me. "Oh, okay. I won't do _that _anymore. If it makes you so mad, I mean."

What. A. Prick. It doesn't stop me from turning pink and I try really, really hard not to punch him in the face. Even though I want to. Even though he deserves it. I manage to spit out, "Shut up," at him and avoid any direct eye contact. Good Roxas, very good.

"What's the big deal? I mean… just _sitting _with us pretty much makes you an outcast," he points out.

"What?"

Axel takes a deep breath and we lock eyes. He smirks a little, then exhales and leans back in his chair. "Hate to break it to ya, kiddo, but we're not exactly the top of the food chain here. Gay or straight, sitting with us brands you as one of us. A Z-E-R-O. Zero."

Marluxia clears his throat before adding, "But there isn't any bullying, since Axel's a bully in his own sense."

"So what you're telling me is if I want to fit in I shouldn't hang out with you." I don't mean for them to come out mean on purpose, but they do and it's how I honestly feel.  
Axel seems insulted. "There's nothing wrong with us."

"No, of course not."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay."

"Uh huh."

I know there isn't anything wrong with me... with being gay... with any of it, at that. But that doesn't stop me from wanting to get away from him so I can just fit in. On top of that it's hard enough being new without having to worry about getting my ass beat because the student body thinks I swing to the left instead of the right.

… And because…

I kinda like him…

It occurs to me that I'm still staring at Axel and he's staring back warily. I open my mouth to say something but he's faster. "Listen, I get it. You don't want to be labeled as gay." He kicks his feet up onto the table and folds his arms behind his head. "I'm not gonna _make _you hang out with us. You can make other friends, fit in and all that jazz."

"Axel—"

"—I'll still _like_ you."

Marluxia coughs softly and I can't help but turn my head to the sound. He's smiling, but there's something not quite right about it. Or maybe I'm just paranoid. It wouldn't be the first time.

"Axel..."

Axel rolls his eyes and throws a pea at Marluxia. "Shut up, Marluxia. I'm just _saying, _ya know?"

Marluxia nods his head, then turns to me and whispers, "If you don't entirely hate the idea of being friends with him, it wouldn't hurt to tell him that." He stands up then and waves good-bye, grabbing his tray and heading toward the trash can.

I look back at Axel who's ignoring me. Kinda. He's watching me in that creepy stalker way that has him forcing me into his peripheral vision so he can take a gander. "Hey Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Last night… why'd you _do _that?"

"Do what?" I give him a look and he grins. "What, kiss you?" he whispers to me as he sits up and puts his legs back under the table. "I don't know. Because I like you. Shit, is that so _hard _to believe?"

"Well, no. But still…"

"If it bothers you that much, I won't do it again. No harm, no foul. It's not like you've given me a chance to get to know you. Yanno, _quality _time." When he says quality he gives me a little wink, then clicks his tongue. "So…"

"So what?"

"Do you like me?"

Well that's a stupid question. Isn't it obvious? "Nope," I joke as I roll my eyes. "Not at all."

"O-oh… okay then."

"Axel!" I shout at him. "I was just _kidding!"_

"You were?"

"Are you fucking _dense_ or something?"

"No."

"Then what?" I sigh and roll my eyes. "You're so weird."

"Yeah."

"Well… since we like each other or whatever… Wanna go on a date or something?"

"A date?" He seems amused. "Yeah. Let's."

"When?"

"Today. Right after school."

I snort. "Don't you have to go home and primp or something?"

"What? I don't look good enough for you?" he jokes as he looks down at his outfit. No, he looks just fine. A green polo that matches his eyes with the collar popped, a black tee underneath, and baggy faded jeans. No holes, this time. He looks back up at me and bites his lip.

_"What?"_

"Were you just undressing me with your eyes?"

"Shut _up!"_

This time I wasn't. Swear.

* * *

If setting myself up to get completely molested at lunch wasn't enough, Demyx nearly tackles me to the ground after class. "I want all the juicy details, dude. It's not like Axel's gonna fill me in!" he screams into my ear. I wince and try to push the image of a pit bull on crack out of my head (which is exactly what Demyx reminds me of).

"Am I supposed to know what you're talking about?" I tease absently, rubbing my ear in a pathetic attempt to hear once again.

"The…" He trails off then whispers, _"date."_

Oh yeah. I almost forgot. "Oh uh… Why do you care?"

"Because Axel—"

_"Hey_ there Demyx," Axel cuts in harshly as he pulls Demyx off me. "What's up?"

Demyx rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest. "See? Told ya."

"Okay?"

"You ready?" Axel asks as he grabs my backpack from me. I try to hang on, but it isn't meant to be since it still gets snatched and thrown over his shoulder, along with his bag.

"Yeah… Ya know, I can carry that on my own."

Axel shrugs. "Whatever."

I wave good-bye to Demyx as I follow Axel outside and to the bus stop. "Where're we going?"

"My house." The words come out of his mouth and immediately my face is flushed. Axel's… house? Oh, that can't be good. He's gonna kidnap me and I'll never see my parents again. I'll be one of those kids on the back of a milk carton or something…

"You okay?"

"Uh huh!"

The bus pulls up and we get on and ride it a few stops down to his house. It looks nice enough, painted white brick with a blue roof. He unlocks the door and I follow him inside, taking off my shoes and locking the door behind me. He throws our bags down in the living room and heads into the kitchen.

Of course I follow him and – big freaking surprise - he heads straight to the fridge. "Want something to drink?" he asks as he pulls an unmarked bottle out.

"No," I say sternly as I recognize the color. Rum. Spiced rum, of course. Always with the drinking. I'm not liking this so far. Not that I was too terribly excited about the date to begin with. It just feels kinda… weird.

He shrugs and pours himself a glass on the rocks and takes a sip. "So… what do you want to do?"

"I dunno."

He sighs and takes another sip. "There's not really much to do around here. I've got some video games and DVDs in my room. I think my mom just bought the new Harry Potter movie… Uh… What else…" He prattles off a long list of stuff to do while I sit down and tune him out.

Why does this feel so off?

"You okay?" he asks, voice worried. He grabs his glass and walks over to me, then sets it down on the table. "Hey, Earth to Roxas." I shake my head and force a smile.

"Sorry."

"What's… _wrong?"_

"Nothing."

He doesn't believe me. He wraps his arms gingerly around my neck and rests his head on top of mine. "Sorry. I don't really know what to do for a date. This is pretty much what I come home and do."

"What, drink?" I ask sharply.

"What, _that?" _he asks, motioning to his glass one-handed for a second. "Dude, chill. It's just iced tea. My mom makes it. She says it's healthy or something like that. Minus the fact that she puts a whole bag of sugar into it."

"Oh."

Well, that makes sense. Maybe he's _not _an alcoholic? But… that might be giving him a little _too _much credit. I chuckle and twiddle my thumbs. Axel seems amused by it and leans down to grab my hands and pull them up above my head. Before I can protest he spins the chair around – which has to be hard since it's not on wheels – and places himself in my lap, straddling me.

"I'm pretty much only good at one thing," he says simply. "So uh…"

I'm bright red, like a damn tomato. At least that's what comes to mind as I try not to let my hormones get the best of me. Damn hormones... I know what he meant. "Nothing… else?" I squeak. He grins and presses his lips against my cheek.

"Well, a few other things."

"Like?"

"Other than dancing?" he jokes.

"Yeah, other than that."

He kisses my cheek and I don't stop him. We're in private, so I guess it's okay. I won't fight it. Plus, he's too heavy to push off. I'm too tired to even try. It was far too long a day at school.

"I can cook. I can make you dinner if you want. Uh, that's pretty much it," he mumbles, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh."

"So…" he trails off with kisses down my face to my neck. I gasp as he sucks on it lightly and I try not to squirm. "Sorry, does that make you uncomfortable?" he asks as he sits up straight and looks down at me.

"Um, that's not it."

"Well?" He has this look in his eyes like he wants to eat me whole. It's kinda scary… and kinda hot. Not that I want him to eat me, or molest me, or end up on a milk carton. Nope.

"I don't know." I sigh heavily and wrinkle my nose. "I've… never really done this before. Sorry."

"Done what?"

My eyes open wide and I sigh exasperatedly. _"This," _I say as I motion my hands to him sitting in my lap. "Duh."

"Oh. So you've never had a girlfriend."

"No."

"Or boyfriend."

"No."

"Uh huh. Well… that just means I get to teach you _everything…" _And then he's back to kissing on me and I can't help but squirm and sigh and just take it all in. My hands end up on his tiny waist that I absolutely adore and everything is just fine and dandy until—

"Axel dear! Mommy's home! Where are you—oh _my."_

Holy shit.

Axel turns his head around to where a cheery – well, formerly cheery – plump woman is standing with a briefcase in her hand. "Uh, hi mom."

Well God? Does _this _satisfy you? Thank you for destroying my life. I hate you. I hate you and all your stupid plans and destiny and well… I _hate _you. I am going to go kill myself now, jump off a bridge of something.

"Axel… _dear. _Why are you in his lap?"

"Do you… uh… _really _want me to explain?" he asks meekly. And I thought _I _was bad. He looks back at me with this freaked out look on his face like someone just showed him what a vagina looked like for the first time. Or an uncircumcised penis. Eww.

"Crap," he whispers to me.

"Well get the hell out of that boy's lap. C'mon, now!" she bellows at him. Axel jumps up and stands next to me, hands shoved in his pockets with his eyes downcast.

It's going to be a cold day in hell.

"I'm sorry, dear," she says to me sweetly. She's so damn _short. _Even shorter than me. "I'm Axel's mother." I arch a brow and she laughs heartily. "Adopted. You must be Roxas."

I arch a brow and look over at Axel who still hasn't looked up. "Uh, yes ma'am. I am."

"Don't ma'am me. You boys don't need to be so formal. I just stopped by to pick up a few things and make dinner. But since _you're _here I assume he's already offered to make you dinner?"

Yeah… how'd she know? Before I can ask she continues,

"He's talked a lot about you. More than I'd care to know, but he wasn't kidding when he said you were adorable. Now, I'll be home around eight o'clock, make sure to call your parents and let them know where you are. Don't _burn _anything, Axel. I'm serious. I am _tired _of calling the Fire Department to explain that our house isn't on _fire, _you were just making pot roast."

Axel nods his head and continues to stare at the floor.

"He gets like that when he brings his boyfriends home. Anyway, you two have fun. Toodles!" She waves and grabs something off the counter, then practically skips out the door.

Holy Mother of God.

Did that _really _just happen?

"Axel…" I turn to look at him and his face is bright red with embarrassment. Jeez. "That's… your _mom?"_

"Uh, yeah."

"You're… you're serious?"

He looks up and nods. "Yeah."

"Wow. She's… _cool_ with you being gay?"

"Uh huh."

"That's awesome."

He arches a brow, then his lips curl into a mischievous little smile. "Oh yeah… where _was _I?"

I shake my head and step back. "Hey, stop it. You're giving me chills, Axel."

"Am I?" He walks closer and I end up pressed against the pantry door. What's with all this getting cornered and shit with him? I feel like a mouse in one of those little maze experiments except instead of finding cheese I'm running away from a big freaking cat, aka Axel. He must plan this all out in advance so that I have nowhere to run.

"Axel!" I whine.

"What?"

"Stop it."

"Stop _what?"_ He raises both eyebrows and shrugs his shoulders. "I'm not doing anything yet."

"Yet."

"Yeah…" he laughs and shakes his head. "Well, do you want me to ask _permission?"_

What? Permission? "For what?"

Axel closes the distance between us and puts a hand on either side of my head, leaning down. I look up at him, into those big green eyes, and bite my lip. "You're cute, when you do that," he whispers.

But… something's off.

Maybe he's… nah. He couldn't be.

Could he?

"Are you scared?" I blurt.

Axel blinks. "What?"

"Uhh… I mean, what I mean is…" I take a deep breath and spit it out. "Are you scared or something, of me?"

He takes it into consideration. "I'm not scared," he finally informs me. "Not of you, anyway. I just… don't wanna mess it up before we have something. If there's something, that is. Anything. Whatever."

Axel stumbles over the words and I try not to grin. He _does_ like me. I think that much is obvious. "You're rambling," I say.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess." He grins and clicks his tongue. "So, do you want me to ask you permission? To kiss you?"

I shake my head. "You don't _have_ to."

"This is probably… the _weirdest _conversation I've had over a kiss," he says thoughtfully. "Yeah. Definitely the weirdest."

"I'm happy for you."

"Wha? Oh, heh."

"Hey, wait," I say, putting a hand up and covering his face to push him back. "How many boyfriends _have _you had?"

He groans and pulls a chair up, sitting in it backwards with the back between his legs. I guess I should give him a brownie point for not straight out avoiding to answer the question. Maybe I'll go home and start a freaking chart for him, to mark all his progress and stuff. He'll get a star for everything he does right... and a black mark for everything he doesn't.

On second thought... That seems like a really bad idea.

"Oh, we're on _that _part of the relationship."

"We're not on _any _part of the relationship," I point out. He rolls his eyes. "Anyway, answer the question. I don't wanna get involved with a playboy."

Instead of laughing at my ridiculous use of playboy, he sighs and looks down at the floor. "Uh, so I assume you want details and specifics?"

Why do I get the feeling this is going to take a very long time?

"Yeah."

"Okay… I've had fourteen boyfriends…"

_"Fourteen?" _I screech. He grimaces. "How many people have you _kissed _then?"

He looks up at the ceiling like he's mentally counting and I know that I won't like the number. I mean… yeah, he's all scantily dressed-ish… but c'mon. It can't be _that _many…

Right?

"Somewhere around… well, between thirty and fifty. I think. Let's just say forty. Okay?"

My face pales. Oh eww… and he's only seventeen.

Time for the final question. Sort of. "How many people have you slept with?"

Axel stares at me and blinks. He doesn't say anything.

"I… don't wanna know, huh," I mumble as I walk away from him and into the living room. I plop myself down on the couch and sigh. I can't get involved with someone like him… I'm just not ready. I don't even know what it really means to be gay. I mean, I get most of it. I just… he's obviously way more experienced. I wouldn't know what to do.

Axel comes in and sits down next to me. "Hey."

"Hi."

"Do you… still want me to answer that?"

"Not really. I know."

"Yeah? You know my number?"  
I roll my eyes. "This isn't a mattress commercial yanno."

"You mean the Tempurpedic commercial? Or was it the Sleep Number Mattress?"

"That's not the point." I won't look at him. Instead I stare at my khakis.

"I've… I've had sex before. With a guy."

"How many?"

He doesn't say anything. I look over at him and he's looking away. I can only see the outline of his face and lots and lots of hair. "It's… uh… I might as well tell you. Maybe it'll help?"

"What are you talking about?"

"A long time ago…"

I don't like where _this_ is going either. His breathing's changed; it's harsh and uncontrolled. I can't bring myself to say anything, though. Or touch him. Nothing. His shoulders tremble and I can see his hands are shaking in his lap.

What's wrong?

"When I first figured out I was gay, it was with… an… _older _guy. Uh, long story short…"

Oh holy crap.

"Don't say it!" I yell at him. "Don't fucking _say _it Axel!"

"Why not?" He looks at me with hard, glossy eyes and waits. I don't know what he's waiting for; maybe a look of kindness, or understanding. I can't give him that. "You'd be surprised at how often it happens nowadays."

His words are cold and deliberate, like he's forcing a point on me. I can understand why, but I can't really comprehend it. I can't just take it in and accept it, understand how he feels. No, that's not something I just smile and nod at.

"I'm sorry. I don't... You don't need to say anything else." It's all I can offer. He doesn't want my pity, he doesn't want my condolences on his hardship. Shit. I wouldn't. It's the _last _thing I would want, but maybe that's just me?

Axel offers me the fakest of fake smiles and cracks his knuckles. "Better to say it now than have it an issue later down the line. I can't change that it happened, even though I want to. I'm not a better person because I survived, I'm worse. I'm snide, and mean, and rude, and harsh because of it. I hate myself for letting it happen, even though I tell myself it wasn't my fault. But what can ya do?"

"Axel, c'mon—"

"No, shove it for a second Roxas." I bite my tongue and let him talk. "Did you want me to just not say anything? Would that have made you feel better inside, knowing you wouldn't know and you wouldn't have to deal with it too? Because that's just fucking childish and it's not the way the world works. If I hadn't said something you would have left and I would have lost out on a chance to be with you. But bringing it out into the open means there are ten thousand things you're going to want to ask me about it, or maybe you'll just push me away." He laughs bitterly and shakes his head, as if remembering something from the past. "It wouldn't be the first time, kid."

Mom and dad always told me that you have to just accept someone for who they are and the baggage they come with if you care for them. And I'm pretty sure I care for him. So it shouldn't matter, right? Except that's not the way life really works, and I don't know if I can honestly try my hardest knowing that all that. I mean, is it honestly fair to me having that rest on my shoulders? Always wondering if I'm going to hit a sore spot...

Aww, to hell with it. I might not owe it to him to give it a shot, but it's worth it to give a damn.

I smile at him and crawl into his lap, putting my arms around him and pulling him down onto me. It's a little awkward, but not entirely uncomfortable. He arches a brow, giving me a strange look. He seems confused.

"I can't really fix that. I've yet to build a time machine," I announce. "But when I do, I'll fix that for you. Okay?" I wiggle my pinky finger in his face and smile. "Promise."

"Yeah?"

I nod. "Yup."

He hooks pinkies with me and we press our thumbs together to seal the deal. "Well… I guess this was kind of a shitty first date. Why don't we try tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Okay. Then what are we gonna do with the rest of today?"

Axel smiles. "Enjoy each other's company."

In my opinion, that sounds a little…

Perfect.

-

**A/N: **Too long of a hiatus, if I must say. I hope some of you are still reading . More is coming soon, SASL is getting an update as soon as I finish writing the chapter and beta'ing it. I am without a beta currently, so if anyone is a skilled beta I would gladly appreciate the help!! I am terrible at beta'ing my own works... o.o;; So hurrah for me finally getting back, and review review review and tell me if this chapter came out alright!!

BTW, this is dedicated to all of you darling reviewers and readers who have stuck with me on this account (and The Medic) through this too-long hiatus. Saranghae, and I hope you enjoyed!!

confess


	6. Here comes the rain again

**Chapter Six**_**  
Here comes the rain again**_

Finally. The perfect outfit.

Well, sort of. It's simple, as usual, but I managed to find a good pair of jeans that fit me _just right _– of course they're made for skateboarding so they're baggy but fitted - and a really cool black and blue striped tee that's almost too small…. Which is what I'm going for. And mom found my favorite hoodie that I usually wear when skateboarding. It's all black, but it has these really cool black felt designs on the back that you can't really see unless you're up close.

Which – of course for Axel – is the plan. Get up close AND personal. Oh, I'm just a hoot and a half today!

And today's weather is perfect for skateboarding, too. I grab my skateboard and run down the stairs and yell 'bye' to mom and dad before bolting out the door. I jump on my skateboard and head to the ice cream shop. It's time for my first real date!

Axel's already waiting. I can see his spikey red hair even from a distance. He turns around and I actually fall off my board. Whoa.

His pants are emotastic. Seriously. They're insanely – no, psychotically - tight and black and all torn up in that awesome way that you only see in music videos. He's wearing a white tank with a red and gray zip-up hoodie over it, but the sleeves are ripped off and you can see his girly-man arms.

I pick up my skateboard and walk over to him as a group of girls practically skip on by. They point and giggle, smiling and yelling at him. He turns and winks at them, then waves.

"Aww, how cute," I joke as I stop in front of him. He turns and looks at me, then winks.

"Yeah, whatever. Hungry for some ice cream?"

"Sure."

We go inside together and order – what else? – sea salt ice cream. I love this stuff. It's the greatest ice cream _ever. _Now, I know I haven't had every ice cream ever, but I'm pretty sure this is still the greatest.

We sit down outside on the sidewalk and lick away at our treats. Well, Axel devours his in like, two gulps after only licking it once. I take my time and enjoy the cold treat while he watches me eat. Or maybe… he's imagining that _I'm_ a delicious cold treat and wants to eat me?

Eww. That was definitely creeper material.

"So…." he starts. "What else do you wanna do?"

"I dunno. What do you feel like doing?"

"Taking advantage of you." I nearly choke on my ice cream. "I'm just kidding, relax. I thought maybe we could go for a drive? Go to the park or something, or just drive until something catches our fancy. Yanno."

First of all, who says 'catches our fancy' anyway? And second….

"You have a _car?" _I ask incredulously. Axel nods. "Oh, okay then. Maybe we can find somewhere cool where I can skateboard!"

"That works. C'mon, let's go." We get up and I shove the ice cream down my throat, then follow him to his car. It's black with red flames – totally not surprised – with a red leather interior. It's kinda cool. We get in and he starts driving around the city, pointing out good places to eat, places to shop, and other stuff like that.

"Hey!" I shout and he slams on the brakes. "That would be a _great _place to skateboard!"

Axel groans and pulls over to park on the side of the street. "You shouldn't scream in the driver's ear like that," he mumbles as he turns the car off and we get out.

I don't care. This place is _awesome. _Lots of stuff to get air off of, and ramps and all _kinds _of cool shit. Oh _man, _am I in heaven!

* * *

I guess I kinda lost track of time. It's almost eight o'clock and the sun's starting to go down. Plus, it looks like it might rain again. I turn around and Axel's half asleep against one of the buildings. I walk over to him and shake his shoulder, his eyes opening a second later

"Hey there, blue eyes," he yawns as he stretches his arms up. "What, curfew already?"

"No, but it looks like it's gonna—" I'm too late as the rain starts to pour. "Crap!" I shout as I drag him over to his car. He fumbles with the keys but manages to unlock it and we hop in, laughing our asses off.

"Thanks for the warning," he says with a grin as he tries to wipe the water off his face. He looks over at me and his grin widens. "You're soaked."

I nod. "Yeah, I know. Oh well. It was worth it. Sorry you didn't have fun though."

Axel half-smiles at me. "No, not _yet…"_ he trails off as he leans over and licks right next to my mouth. His tongue is hot and wet and sends chills up my spine. I let out a soft sigh as he pulls away a few inches to stare at me.

"Uhh...." I don't really have any words.

"Can I do it again?" he asks, clicking his tongue.

"Uh huh...." I sound so dreamy, even in my head.

"Good." He leans in again licks over my lips, catching my top lip with his teeth. He nips gently and I shiver again. He laughs against my face and moves his mouth down to kiss me.

I kiss back softly and he slides his tongue against mine. He tastes like cigarettes and I realize for the first time that he smokes. I've never seen him smoke, and I don't really know why I know that it's cigarettes that I taste, but it doesn't really bother me. It's just another part of him.

He sucks on my lower lip and I laugh. God, it feels so good. And so comfortable! "Axel," I whine when he won't let go. "Come _on!"_

"What?" he asks as he pulls back and winks at me. "Sorry, was that annoying?"

"Not really." I smile at him.

"Well… since it _is _raining, and it's dangerous to drive in this kinda weather…" he throws one leg over to my side of the car then the other and crawls into my lap, somewhat straddling me. He grabs the bar on the side of my seat and jerks it, sending us falling backward as it reclines. I stare at him and that evil toothy smile of his and blink.

Whoa. That was kinda cool.

"Mind if I…" he trails off as he unzips his hoodie and lets it slide off his shoulders. I stare at him leaning over me and feel my heart thumping loudly in my chest. I wonder if he can hear it, too?

"A-Axel?" I stutter.

"Yeah?"

"Um… you're… you're…" he arches a brow as I try to find the words. His hands slide under his shirt as he pushes it up and plays with his bellybutton ring. I almost forgot it was there. It's different today; instead of black and red it's a silver cross dangling down.

"You were saying?" My eyes travel up his body back to his face. "Well?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I don't… erm… remember…"

"No? Good." Axel presses his body against me and lays there for a minute, his head resting against the side of my face. Tiny little waist… tiny little waist… I put my arms around him and hold him close, even though he's soaking wet.

Well, so am I, I guess.

"You're so fucking _adorable," _he purrs into my ear. "The things I'd do to you…."

… Oh… Jesus Christ….

Panic attack.

I am going to have a fucking _panic attack._

For the love of God….

"Get off get off get off get off!" I shout at him as I push him away. I smack him in the face at some point but I don't care. I need air. I need to breathe. I need him _off _of me!

"Roxas! Shit, _Roxas!" _he yells as he raises his arms in defense. I somehow find the door handle and pull it, nearly kicking him out of my lap. I jump out of the car and run down the street until I can't run anymore and scream. I just scream until my throat is practically raw and then focus on breathing.

Maybe the screaming was a little dramatic, but it worked. It got me back in rhythm or something. So I can think. So I can count and breathe and not hyperventilate and die. Well, pass out. Which is pretty much the same thing. Sorta.

Well, not really.

"Holy… shit… holy… shit…" I mumble as I breathe in between the words. I fall to my knees and hunch over, both hands on the cold, wet pavement. "Holy… mother… fucking… shit…."

I hear footsteps sloshing through the water. Axel.

"What the _fuck _is your problem?!" he shouts at me.

I can't explain. Gotta breathe. So I ignore him.

…Why do these things always happen to _me?_

"What is your problem? Jesus, you fucking spaz about _everything!" _he continues shouting. I try not to cry. "This is fucking _ridiculous. _Why am I even standing here, huh? _Fuck!" _he shouts before kicking the sidewalk and a puddle of water at me. "Oops," he mumbles as he squats down next to me, arms resting on his knees and hands dangling between his legs.

I look over at him, eyes filled with tears. I _hate _panic attacks. I hate them more than anything. Maybe I should'a said something sooner to him….

"H-hey… you okay?" he asks as he puts a hand on my shoulder. I push him away. "Shit… what's wrong? Are you… something's really _wrong_…" he trails off and stares at me, then sits down on the sidewalk in the puddle he kicked. "Crap," he groans, rolling his eyes.

"I… panic… panic _attack," _I manage to get out.

His eyes go wide. Big green eyes. "Oh, shit. I'm sorry!"

"Shut… up…" I practically wheeze. "Count… for… me…."

"Count…? Like, numbers?"

Yes, idiot. Count already!

It's like magic. He does it. I didn't even have to repeat myself or explain it to him! Thank you God, he's _learning._

"Okay, uh… one… two… three…." he spits out, still in semi-shock.

He counts to sixty-three before my breathing's back to normal. I shake my head and sit back on my legs, looking up at the sky with closed eyes. "Okay… that's better."

"Jesus, Roxas! You scared the _shit _outta me!" he finally yells. "Why didn't you _tell _me you get panic attacks!"

"I didn't think it was important."

"What the _fuck?"_

"Anyway… you're an ass. Yelling and screaming at me like that."

I open my eyes and look at Axel who's now looking down at the ground. Stupid head. "I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking. It just seems that every time I try to get close to you… something bad happens."

"Did I forget to mention I'm a walking disaster?" I joke.

"Yeah, you _did _leave that part out," he says sarcastically. But I can see a smile somewhere in there, somewhere on his face.

"Oh. Sorry!"

He looks up now and smiles, a sigh of relief escaping his lips. "Okay then. We good?"

"Uh huh."

"Well… we're already soaking so… can I try this _again?" _he asks as he sits up on his knees and puts his hand around my waist. I know that he's probably thinking, 'for the millionth fucking time' or something along those lines. I would be. "Or is there something else you're not telling me?"

"Uh, not that I can recall."

"Well then?"

I smile and kiss him. A blush creeps onto my cheeks and I smile in the middle of the kiss. "Don't _do _that," he jokes before moving his mouth to my ear. "It drives me nuts!"

My response is pulling away and giving him a pouty face. He laughs and puts a hand against my face, pulling me back into him. Our lips meet and before I know what's happening his hands are under my shirt, lifting it up to feel my stomach. He makes a small noise in his throat and slides his hands around to my back and rubs his thumb along my spine.

I shiver and find my hands sliding under his shirt to his firm chest. When I find a nipple he lets out a small yelp and I grin. I can do it, too. Before I can do anything else he grabs me and pulls me up, pushing me behind him protectively with one arm.

"What the hell?"

"Shut up," he growls as he steps back with his knees bent. "Go. To the car. _Now." _He hands me his keys – well, _throws _them back at me - and pushes me away before I can ask why. _"Now, _Roxas!"

I run. I run to the car and get inside, in his seat, and put the key in the ignition. Please let it be an automatic… Crap. It's not. I pop my head out the window after rolling it down and look at Axel who is now surrounded by three guys dressed in all black. Oh shit….

The Organization.

They're talking to him, I can hear that much but I don't know what they're saying. Fine… I'll help. I can help. I'm too exhausted to fight after having a panic attack, but I _kinda _know how to drive a stick. Well… all I really need is reverse. I hit the clutch and turn the car on, nearly giving myself a heart attack as it sputters for a moment before roaring to life. Stupid modified exhaust, that's why it's so loud! I shift into reverse, then look behind me. God, save us all. As long as I keep the wheel straight I shouldn't hit the curb…

"Here goes," I mumble as I rev the engine and start moving backward. Well, more like _fly _back since I'm really bad at driving a stick. The car chokes and jerks at first, but it peels out after a second in reverse and I barely manage to hit the break and clutch quick enough to come to a stop and not kill the car.

I put it in neutral and pull the E-brake, then get out of the car. I'm so happy to be on ground! Axel's hunched over on the ground, one hand around his side and the other on propping himself up. The guys in black are gone thankfully. "You okay?" I ask as I kneel beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just one punch, and I got him first. You okay? I didn't know you could drive a stick. Actually…" he grins, "I didn't know you could _drive."_

"I have many hidden talents. I'm just glad I didn't hit you."

"Ugh…. Yeah, me too. Let's get outta here."

"Okay." I pause, then ask, "Can I drive?"

"Abso-fucking-lutely _not,"_ Axel responds and I sigh. Oh, well. I gave it a shot.

We get in the car and drive back to his house. By the time we get there it's already after nine and I'm exhausted. He opens the door and we walk in quietly until there's a commotion at the top of the stairs and the sound of loud footsteps trampling toward us.

"Axel I _swear_, every time I tell you to call me if you're gonna be out later than nine o'clo—What the hell _happened _to you?!" she shouts as she stares at us on the bottom step. "Dear…. It was _them _again, wasn't it. Wasn't it?!" she screams. I wince.

"Mrs. Axel's mom?" I say softly. She blinks, then looks at me. "Um, could we have some hot chocolate or something?"

She nods her head and runs into the kitchen, slamming cupboards and cabinet doors. "You sure you're okay?" I ask. Axel nods. "Uh, I'm gonna call my parents really quick. C'mon, I'll help you into the kitchen."

We slowly make our way down the hall into the kitchen and I help him sit down while his mom makes hot chocolate, or something like that. I pull out my phone, but before I dial his mom speaks up.

"Roxas, dearie, why don't you just stay here tonight?"

"Huh?"

She smiles at me and sets down two coffee mugs. "I think that after the night you two've had… well…. Axel could probably use the company. It's not the _first _time this has happened, you know."

"Mom—"

"Shut your trap, I _know _you haven't told him," she snaps at him. He nods and rests his head on the table while she sighs loudly. "That group, the Organization? They're not _just _a bunch of stupid little punks you know. They're…. Oh Lord, how do I say the words? They're… they _hate _gay people. Homosexuals."

It makes a lot more sense now. How they pick on Axel… "So that's why…" I trail off and look at Axel whose eyes are closed. "I get it now."

"Ever since that blonde girl from the girls' high school started that club they've been picking on all the students who wear those wristbands. Axel refuses to take his off and since he's so skinny and all, well… you get the picture dear. Most of the other ones stick together if they're out, like his cute little friends Marluxia and Demyx, but for whatever reason they seem to like picking on him the most. Maybe because he tries to fight back. I don't really know."

"Maybe because he hasn't given up," I say quietly. She arches a brow as she fills our cups. "Poor Axel."

She walks over to me and sets the mugs down. "Poor Axel? Poor _you, _dearie. They've obviously seen you two together, that puts you at risk too. That's why I don't want you walking home. Unfortunately for me I don't drive, and I personally don't like walking around late at night, either. I can't believe Axel actually drives around…. He got that car from his uncle. I can't drive one of those stick shifts so..." she trails off and puts a hand on Axel's back.

"Huh? Oh, yum," he says with a smile. He won't stop smiling, even after this. Weirdo. "Thanks, mommy."

"Your welcome, baby. Anyway," she looks back at me, "I'll call your parents and let them know you're staying over here. You can ride the bus with Axel to school in the morning. I'm going to call Officer Highwind and let him know about this. It's getting _beyond _ridiculous; I mean, I can't just let them go around hurting my child_."_

Axel's mom heads off into the next room to call my parents - I assume - and I sit with Axel silently as we sip our hot chocolate. She comes back in a few minutes later and smiles at me, letting me know that it's alright for me to stay the night.

"Just don't stay up too late. You boys should get some rest."

"Okay," I say with a nod before she heads up the stairs.

I look back at Axel who doesn't look nearly as bad as the first night I saw him, but he still looks like crap. "I guess someone up _There _hates us, huh?" I joke with a smile.

"You… shouldn't hang around me anymore."

"What?"

"Same thing's gonna happen to you, too." He frowns and puts his cup down. "You'll get hurt. Eventually. They always find out, and they'll start looking for you too. Best thing is to stay away from us."

It's weird hearing those words come out of his mouth. I mean… doesn't he _want _me around? "Axel…."

"Roxas, don't. I don't wanna see you get hurt, got it memorized?" I smirk a little at the words. "Really. So starting tomorrow, don't hang around us anymore. Okay?"

I don't really know what to say. So I don't say anything. We finish our coffee and go upstairs where he blows up the air mattress for me and we lie down – separately - to go to sleep.

But I can't sleep. I can hear him tossing and turning in his bed and after a while I stand up and crawl into bed with him. He doesn't complain.

"Promise me," he whispers into my ear as he pulls me closer. "Promise you'll stay away, okay?"

I don't say anything. I don't want to.

I fall asleep with his arms around me, pretending it'll be okay in the morning.

* * *

A.N. Yes, I actually posted TWO chapters in one day. A goddamn miracle if you ask me, but I figured those of you out there who have faithfully waited another chapter deserve it. More is coming, count on that. Soon enough I'll have time to actually finish SASL and GandS!!

Wish me luck in that endeavor, by the way. And enjoy summer exams!!


	7. Pride and honesty

**Chapter Seven**

_**Pride and honesty**_

We leave for school without a word. He doesn't even look at me and the only consolation I get is a small hug and kiss on the forehead from his mother. She's so nice, I really like her. Oh well.

The ride to school is short and soon enough we're on the steps where Marluxia and Demyx are waving to us. "Hey!" Demyx says cheerfully. Axel doesn't say anything back. "What's wrong, Axel? Wait… did you two just come to school… _together?"_

Marluxia grins and nudges me in the side. "Oh, okay. I see you two finally have made nice, huh?"

"No, nothing like that," I mumble as I walk away. Demyx calls out to me but Axel yells at him not to.

School has suddenly lost all appeal.

I sit alone at lunch and eat quickly, then run to the bathroom. It's not fair. I'm alone again. I just got used to having friends, kinda. Well, having _someone. _Stupid Axel… stupid Organization! I kick the bathroom wall and immediately regret doing it as I stub my toe.

"Oww," I whine as I hop around on one foot.

One of the stall doors opens up and I hop around in a half circle to see who it is. Axel. He stares at me but doesn't say anything. Oh you dickhead. Fine, whatever. See if _I _care!

I lean against the wall, foot finally back on the ground, and ignore him. Sort of. By ignore, I mean stare at him while he washes his hands and ignores me. Ass. He looks up at me as he dries his hand but quickly looks away.

… I can't do this.

"Axel—"

"Don't," he says, cutting me off. "Don't, Roxas."

He starts to walk away but I grab his hand and throw him against the wall. "Shut up," I mumble before kissing him. I am not going to let a stupid group of punks stop me from attempting to have my first relationship. I've yet to even get a first _date _that hasn't gone wrong!

Axel kisses back and suddenly it's okay. We'll be okay!

Someone clears their throat and me and Axel look to our left. "Well… I guess you should be wearing a wristband too, huh."

Axel narrows his eyes and puts a hand out in front of me protectively. "I didn't know you were back, Luxord."

The man standing in the doorway of the bathroom is tall, very tall, with hair so blond its almost white. He looks older than Axel, with his goatee and strong jaw. Maybe he is?

"I didn't know you had a new boyfriend, Axel. How _cute."_

"Shut up."

Luxord shrugs. It's then that I notice he's wearing all black. He couldn't… could he?

"Are you a part of the Organization?" I blurt. Luxord arches a brow and gives me a once-over. "Well? …'Cause if you are, I'm gonna kick your ass. Or run you over with Axel's car."

I leave out the part where I don't actually _know _how to drive Axel's car.

Luxord smiles. It's creepy. He smiles in a way that makes me want to jump out a window before being left in a room alone with him. "Something like that. Well, I guess I have another one to add to our list, don't I."

"Don't you _dare, _Luxord!"

"I'll see you later… _Axel."_

Luxord walks out of the restroom and Axel immediately turns and punches the wall. He nearly punches me but I move my head just in time. Shit. "What's wrong?"

"Jesus, Roxas! He's the sneak who told the Organization that me, Demyx, and Marluxia were gay to begin with!"

"Oh, that sucks."

"You really don't get it, do you?"

I arch a brow. "More scary stories?"

"They… the Organization… A few years ago, they almost _killed _one of… 'us'. They have no feelings, they don't _have _hearts!"

"Uh…" No offense, but that doesn't make any sense at all. I do. It's just… how was _I _supposed to know?

"Listen, just do me a favor. Be careful, okay? I'm gonna walk you home from school today, just to be safe. But don't go anywhere alone, especially at night. Promise?"

I roll my eyes. "What's the worst that could happen?"

Axel rolls his eyes back at me. "You're so dense, sometimes."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am _not!"_

"Are _too!"_

The door to the bathroom opens again. This time it's Marluxia. "Hey, I saw Luxord come in here… I didn't know he was back. I thought he couldn't come back until next year?"

"Yeah, I know. Where's Demyx?"

"Somewhere. I dunno."

"Well make sure to stick together. I'm gonna call Larxene. We should all meet up and figure something out. With Luxord back…" Axel shakes his head and sighs. "That means that Xemnas is probably out, too."

"And Ze—"

"Don't say his name," Axel snaps at Marluxia, shooting him a sharp and angry look.

I don't ask.

Axel doesn't try to hold my hand on the walk to my house. I almost try and take his, but decide against it. He seems more than a little preoccupied. We walk up the steps to my house and he leans against the door with a little smile on his face.

"What?" I ask.

"You gonna invite me in?"

"Why, so you can molest me and give me a panic attack?" I reply with a smirk.

"No! That was _so _not my fault, and you know it!"

I nod my head and unlock the door. "I know. C'mon, let's grab a snack. What time are you gonna meet the others?"

"In an hour or something. Aren't you coming?"

"Me? Why?"

"Well, you're kind of a part of this now. I warned you."

I throw my stuff on the floor and bounce into the kitchen. Mom always leaves me snacks, well… usually. Let's see… Oh! _Hell_ yes! Cookies! I grab a handful out of the cookie jar and turn around. "Want one?"

"Were you even listening?"

"Uh, no. Want a cookie?" I ask again before puting one in my mouth and winking at him. "Hmm?"

"Maybe just one…" he trails off as he walks over to me and takes the cookie out of my mouth with his own.

The front door slams and he jumps back, the cookie breaking in my mouth. I raise my hands to keep the crumbling parts from falling on the floor. Mom'll _kill _me if I make a mess. "Honey! I need to talk to you! Are you home?"

"Yeah, mom! What's up?" I say through a mouth full of cookies.  
My mom runs into the kitchen and stops dead in her tracks. "Oh… my. This is your friend… Axel?" she asks as she arches a brow. I nod. "Huh…"

"What?"

"Nothing, honey."

"Hi," Axel says as he waves his hand. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Roxas's mom."

"Hello there." She smiles at him then looks at me and scowls. "Roxas, don't eat all the cookies."

I laugh. "Okay mom. Oh, you said you wanted to talk?"

"What? Oh, yes! I was just talking to Mrs. Tilmett, next door, and according to _her_ there's been a lot of break-ins recently, especially in this area. Apparently there's this horrible group of teens who pride themselves on wreaking havoc and destruction so since your father and I are going be out of town the rest of this week—"

"What do you _mean, _out of town?"

My mom laughs and waves her hands wildly. She's so weird sometimes. "Oh, your aunt is getting married. Again."

"Didn't she just get married last year?" I ask.

"Yes. They got divorced and they're actually getting remarried. Anyway, I didn't want to pull you out of school so I thought you might stay with a friend, but considering all these robberies and such… I thought your friend might want to stay here? Or even a few of them, as long as I could talk to their parents. Mrs. Tilmett next door has a daughter a little older than you and they'll both be home if you need anything."

I glance at Axel who's trying not to grin. Sleepover? Yes. "It's cool, mom. Can Axel stay?"

"Uhm…" She thinks for a moment, then smiles and nods. "Sure. As long as I talk to his mother first. She's awfully nice, honey." She wrinkles her nose and walks over to Axel. He towers over her – like I said, both my parents are short – and reaches a hand up to touch the tattoos on his face. "My, that must've hurt. Especially on your face. I only have a tattoo on my—"

"Jesus mom!" I scream as I nearly drop the cookies. "Don't _tell _him!"

She smirks and turns around. "Okay then. Make sure to leave me a list with your friends' names and phone numbers. I'll call their parents in the morning. And honey?"

"Yeah mom?"

My mom turns around for a second and smiles at me and Axel. "It's nice to see you have friends."

I roll my eyes and stick a cookie in my mouth as she leaves. Axel turns to me and kicks me in the shin. "Your mom's cool."

"My mom's a little _crazy. _So's my dad."

"They seem nice enough. So… where _is _her tattoo?"

"In a place that gay men never look."

Axel nearly burst into tears from laughing so hard. "Oh shit, that's fucking _hilarious, _Roxas!"

"See? That's why I didn't want her to say it. So you didn't make a gay joke. Or I didn't. Either way."

"I don't really think your mom would care, honestly." Axel steals a cookie from me and sticks it in his mouth. "She seems really open-minded."

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just not ready to… yanno… do all that."

"So what did she mean about having friends?"

"What?"

Axel rolls his eyes and repeats, "She said she was glad you have friends. What did she mean by that?"

I hate blushing. It's the stupidest bodily function ever. Except for crying. "I was just a loner at other schools, okay? I never really made friends, so… I guess she's just happy to see I have some now. Yanno, since I stayed at your house the other night… or whatever."

"Aww, isn't that so _cute?"_ he teases, pinching my cheeks. "Roxas's got _friends!"_

"Shut up, Axel," I mumble as I dump the cookies on the counter and another take one. Aww, poor tummy; no wonder you're chubby! … Oops, I'm sorry, I take it back. Don't hate me. "You're different from me. You're all like… open and shit. You don't _care _what people think about you."

"Me? Well, why should I?"

"I don't know!"

Axel laughs. "Don't be like that. You're you, and that's what I _like _about you."

"Whatever."

"Hey, like I _said, _don't be like that. C'mon, let's go wait at the restaurant. I'll buy you a milkshake or something."

For whatever reason…

I have to _strongly _resist the urge to break out into song.

… Yeah, _that _song.

We walk in silence to the burger place – I still don't have any idea what the name of it is – and take a booth near the front. Axel pulls out a cigarette and lights it, blowing the smoke up and away from me. "I didn't know you smoked," I say, even though I kinda did.

"Huh? Oh, when I'm stressed. Or jittery."

"Okay."

Axel arches a brow. "You're not gonna yell at me about it?"

"It's not like you're gonna quit 'cause I say to. Besides, I don't really care. As long as you don't blow it in my face, it's fine."

"Hey there fuckers!" a female voice shouts. Axel turns around in the seat and sits up on one knee.

"'Sup, Larxene?'"

A blonde girl with two hair antennae sticking out of her head smiles and sits down across from us. "I need to talk to you about something, now," she whispers as she leans forward. She eyeballs me, arches a brow, then adds, _"Right _now."

Axel glances at me and squeezes my leg. "Uh, I'll be right back. Okay?"

I nod.

Axel and Larxene walk across the restaurant to talk; meanwhile, Demyx and Marluxia come in. I wave to them and they wave back, hurrying over to me. Demyx sits down next to me and gives me a hug, then waves his hands around like he's on fire.

"Guess what!"

"What?"

"Marluxia got a _love _letter today!"

I try not to laugh. "A love letter?" My eyes fall on Marluxia who seems annoyed. Actually, very annoyed. I wonder who the letter is from?

"It doesn't mean anything. Just a stupid letter… Besides, I'm not interested in anyone right now, so why would I care who it's from?"

Uh huh, _right._ I roll my eyes and accidentally lock eyes with Demyx, who's having a 'moment.' His defenses are down and he's completely transparent; _he _sent the stupid letter. My mouth drops and I gawk at him. Demyx nearly flips out and grabs my face with both hands, pretending to make me a wooden dummy.

Marluxia must buy it because he tells Demyx to stop torturing me. Demyx lets go and sighs as Axel and Larxene walk over. "Paine's running a little late."

Like I know who that is? But everyone else seems to, so that's that. Demyx gets up and lets Axel sit down next to me but he doesn't try to do anything stupid or perverted. In fact, he won't even look at me. He looks pale and sick or something… I wonder what she had to tell him?

Before I can ask Larxene clears her throat and practically screams, "Al_right, _fuckheads, we're here for our bi-weekly meeting on behalf of the Radiant Garden Pride Club, formerly Radiant Garden's Lesbians United. First order of busi—"

"No crap today, Larxene," Axel cuts in, giving her a 'look.' Ooh, first a 'moment', and now a 'look'. What a busy day!

She nods her head and smiles. "Okay. First, Roxas, we'd like to invite you to be a member of the RGPC, if you're interested."

"Really?" I'm actually kind of excited. I mean, a club. I've never been in a club before!

"Yes, really. Why would I say it without meaning it? You'll come to learn that I never say things I don't mean."

I laugh, and Demyx and Marluxia follow. "Okay, so what do I have to do?"

"Have sex with Axel, silly."

"… Shit Roxas!" Marluxia stands up quickly and hands me a napkin. "Your nose is bleeding!"

Huh? Oh Christ, it really isn't my week. I grab the napkin and hold my nose, smiling through the napkin because of all things to get a nosebleed over… Well, I guess that makes a bold statement. NO.

"I was just kidding," Larxene says with a roll of the eyes and a flip of the hair. Oh, you might have been kidding but that doesn't mean you weren't also serious. I'm not dumb… hmph.

Axel's… still not listening. He keeps staring off into space. What's wrong with him? At this point there should be a dirty joke and lots of laughing. I nudge him in the side and he turns his head to look at me, smiling blankly. He's just doing the motions. "Hey, what's wrong?" I ask.

"He's fine," Larxene says, voice dark and somewhat disturbing. Creepy.

"O-okay," I respond in a voice that is at least ten decibels higher than normal.

"Anyway, here. You get a wristband. We'll understand if you don't want to wear it, all things considered. But since you're a member you get one anyway." She pulls something out of her pocket and slides it across the table to me. "That's it. You're in."

I stare at the plastic wristband. It's a band of colors – like the rainbow – and has Radiant Garden Pride Club printed in white letters across it. It's cute, just like Larxene's and Marluxia's and Demyx's… and Axel's.

"Thanks, Larxene." I smile at her and she gives me a wink. "I really appreciate it. I actually feel like I fit in…"

Marluxia chuckles. "Well, that's because you do."

"I'm going to the restroom," Axel suddenly announces. He stands up and walks away as I watch him.

What's going on?

"Before you say anything," Larxene says hurriedly, "I just want to let you know that you should be worried."

I… wasn't expecting that.

"Larxene!" Marluxia exclaims as he shoots her a dirty look. He turns to me and sighs, shaking his head. "Listen, it's not our place to tell you Axel's business. That's between you and him. I'm sure he's going to explain it to you. He cares about you, a lot."

Before I can respond Larxene jumps up happily and claps her hands together. "Paine!"

I turn around and see a girl dressed in black micro shorts, a red tank top, and a black jacket. Her dark gray hair is too long to be short, but too short to be long – if that makes any sense at _all _– and is spiked up. She smiles at Larxene and waves, then walks over to us.

"I'm Paine," she says, nodding to me. "You're Roxas?"

"Yep."

"Nice to meet you." She looks at Demyx and arches a brow, then instructs, "Up."

Demyx rolls his eyes but stands up and grabs a chair while Paine slides into the booth next to Larxene, who sits back down.

"So what've we discussed?" she asks as she pulls a cigarette out and lights up. She blows the smoke in my direction, then stops and turns her head away. "Sorry, you don't smoke."

"It's okay."

"We've initiated Roxas, and now we're moving on to what we're going to do about Xemnas and the Organization," Demyx declares.

"Um, if you don't mind me asking… who _is _this Xemnas guy? I keep hearing his name, but I don't have any idea what you guys're talking about."

Marluxia nods his head. "Xemnas is pretty much the leader of the Organization. Some… _things _happened last year and him, along with a few other people, were sent to a correctional facility. Since Luxord is back, that means that Xemnas must also be out."

"And Zexion," Paine points out. "Don't forget him."

Marluxia clears his throat uneasily. "Yeah, Zexion too."

I open my mouth to ask who he is but Axel comes back. He smiles at Paine and she sorta smiles back, then hands him a cigarette. "I'm sure you need one."

"Thanks." Axel lights the cigarette and leans back in the booth, stretching his arms out. He rests one around my shoulders and I blush. I'm still not quite used to this whole… thing. I don't really know what I'm _supposed _to call it.

"Feel better?" Larxene asks. He nods. "Good. Well, my proposal is that we take 'em out. We've got enough people that we could just go in there and fucking kick some ass—"

Axel shakes his head. "No, that won't work. Using force like that is just going to end badly. We don't want anyone to get hurt."

"Axel's right. We should stick together until we can find a way to just get rid of Xemnas. He's the one we're after; he's their glue, he holds them together. Without him, they won't know what to do," Marluxia adds.

"Yeah, what the fuck ever. I still think we should just bust their asses," Larxene mumbles. "But whatever keeps us safe, right?"

Demyx nods. "It sounds like a plan to me. So how are we going to deal with Xemnas?"

The rest of the conversation I spaced out on.

Axel walks me home, quiet the whole way. It's strange; I'm not used to him being so quiet. Normally he talks a mile a minute, but now… I can't not ask. I need to know. I _want _to know. Who is Zexion?

I turn to ask him but he puts a finger against my lips. "Don't say anything. I… Can we go upstairs to you room? To talk?"

I nod and it's inside and up the stairs to my room. I sit down on my bed while he remains standing. He paces back and forth across my room as I sit on the bed with my legs crossed. I'm starting to wonder if he's not going to say anything when he finally clears his throat and stops pacing. He kneels down in front of me and rests his hands on my thighs.

"Okay… I don't really know how to explain this to you."

"Well try."

"I'm… going to. Before you came to school, I… there was this guy. Zexion. He was part of our group, me and Demyx and Marluxia. We've all been friends for as long as we can remember, me and Zexion since the first grade before Demyx and Marluxia. We did everything together…

"About seven months ago there was a big fight. I got hurt pretty bad and Zexion came to my rescue and pretty much saved my life from Xemnas and Luxord. When the police finally showed up it was Zexion who took the fall for the whole thing, along with Xemnas and Luxord. So they sent him away with them to a correctional facility."

I nod my head and put my hands on top of his. "It's cool, I get it. He's one of your best friends. I was worried it was something _serious, _like he used to be your boyfriend or something."

Axel coughs and bites his lip. "Roxas…"

His voice is wavering. That's never good. I don't wanna know… I _know _that I don't want to hear the rest of this story. Nothing ever ends well for me. I know that.

"What?" I try to sound as positive as possible. Maybe it's not that bad. I'm probably just overreacting or something. Yeah, just being dramatic.

"Zexion… is still my boyfriend."


End file.
